"Marriage, Purity, and Honoring God"

Here's a nice piece written by Steven Crowder, Comedian and Fox News contributor, about his courtship, purity, and waiting till the wedding night for intimacy.

Click here for the article!

The author and his wife on his wedding day in August 2012. (Courtesy of the author.)

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/09/14/staying-celibate-before-marriage-was-best-thing-ive-ever-done/#ixzz272q1pyAX

A Safe Place To Be

I hate hearing of men who refuse to protect their daughters-who won't stand up or speak up when the wolves come looking for food. Since when was 18 the age that girls needed to defend themselves; to provide for themselves; or to make it by themselves? I don't find that in the Bible, so I'm left to assume that someone, in years past, declared this, and the masses who were...(better not say it) followed suit.

The LORD has blessed me with three of the most beautiful girls any man could hope to marry, and I'll tell the world- without hesitation- that my girls have a safe place to live until the day I give them away in marriage. I love them, and when you love something, you protect it. How many men wouldn't even leave their xbox out in the rain, but would have no problem leaving their daughters out in the world unprotected, unprepared, and unloved. Oh, but, "I do love my daughter," they'll say, and I say, "nonsense," you love your freedom and extra money more than you love your daughter, and that's why the wolves are well fed tonight!

A daughter should be protected by her dad until it's no longer possible to do so. When he walks her down the aisle and places her hand into the hand of her husband, the exchange should be more than tradition, it should be symbolic of what has truly occurred; she was cared for and protected by her dad, and now that duty passes to her husband. And while we're on the subject, may I say that the white dress should mean she's a virgin?- or would that upset too many people? Indeed, to raise a virgin daughter to adulthood, and give her away pure and undefiled to her husband is a lofty goal in the culture we live in, but guess what, we serve a God who has declared that with Him, "all things are possible."  

Nehemiah says that men are supposed to fight for their sons and daughters (Neh. 4:14), not give them to the enemy for his own pleasures. No age is mentioned in scripture when men are to stop doing this either. We can apply wisdom to this, and understand that not all families are in tact and walking with the LORD. We all know girls who, for one reason or another, don't have a dad to protect them, and to them I say, there's still a way. Maybe other Godly men in your family can oversee your affairs, or perhaps an Elder or Deacon at your church. I'm sure any Godly man would relish the opportunity to protect and invest in the life of a sister in Christ.

So go ahead, men, dream big for your daughters, don't settle for the low, sleezy standard that our culture says is normal. Get a vision for beautiful girlhood from scripture and take the steps necessary to see it come to fruition. They don't have to look like Miley, LiLo, JLo, Gaga, Britney, or Katy to be special, accepted, and loved; all they have to do is be who God made them, and not who culture hopes they become. 

Your girls should not fear growing up thinking that they'll have to move out, get a job, and make it on their own: they should grow up knowing that their dad will always provide a safe a place for them to live and grow, to prosper and mature, to learn and develop, and to be courted and wed. God has a plan for girls, and it isn't what we see all around us. Give your daughters to the LORD and see what He does with them. Don't give them to the wolves, because we all know what they'll do. Protect your girls...they'll be eternally grateful you did!

~Strength and Honor~

Our Children's Reputations

I recently started Vlogging in the hopes of being able to interact with you, my readers, more. I'm new at this, so it will take some time to work out the kinks, and improve upon my skills. My wife and other lady friends have already said I need to smile more, so I'll keep that in mind! :-)

Share your thoughts, and let me know what you think. Also, if you have any ideas on a topic you'd like me to cover, or have a question you'd like me to answer as a Vlog, please let me know. Thanks, and God Bless...

(If you'd like to receive new videos as I release them, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here!

The Male Domain's YouTube Channel

I've been wanting to Vlog for quite some time, and finally made my desires a reality. (For those unfamiliar, the word 'Vlog' is short or 'Video Log' just like 'Blog' is short for 'Web Log.) I posted my Inaugural Vlog recently and hope to post up a Vlog about once a week or so.

My first one is an introductory post and is a bit longer than I wanted, and will be sure to shorten them in the future. I hope to Vlog about various topics and will be looking for ideas to tackle from you, my readers. So if you have some thoughts on topics, let me know.

You can subscribe to our YouTube channel and will get new videos as they get released, by visiting us at The Male Domain's YouTube Channel. Thanks, you all, and be blessed!

PS --There's a little box in bottom right hand corner of our side bar that will show our newest video postings as well!

The Result of NOT Fathering Your Sons

6 year old, Aliyah Shell, pictured above.

This past weekend saw 49 people get shot, with 10 fatalities, in the city of Chicago, where I grew up. One of the victims who died was a 6 year old little girl named, Aliyah Shell, who was shot while sitting with her mother on the front porch of their home, as her mom brushed her hair while they prepared to attend a birthday party on a warm, sunny afternoon.

Read the article here.

The reason this post is entitled, "The Result of NOT Fathering Your Sons," is because these shootings, as with most violent crimes, were perpetrated by young men with no fear of God, and no measure of self control, which fathers, like myself, are commanded to instill in their sons when they're growing up. When boys are allowed to grow up without men teaching them what manhood is all about, we end up with weekends like this one. The two young men who shot and KILLED this innocent little girl are 18 and 16 years old, who's lives are now forever changed, like Aliyah's.

I have a hard time believing that these two young men have hard working fathers who spend lots of time with them living at home. If that turns out to be the case, I will be very surprised. More often than not, young men who commit crimes like this are being raised by single moms, who are doing what they can to pay the bills and keep food on the table, while the men who fathered the boys, are out doing their own thing. I grew up in Chicago's Logan Square neighborhood, so I know what I'm talking about. But not for the grace of God, I would have been one these young men.

Having said that, I really wouldn't have a problem with the fathers of young men who commit crimes like this being held responsible in some fashion. True, the fathers didn't pull the trigger of the gun that killed Aliyah, but neither did they train the hearts of the boys who did, and for that, I say, hold them responsible.

Now the Chicago Police Department is scrambling as they look for ways to combat violent crime in Chicago, so that the citizens there can feel safe, when the only answer needed is found in the world's most bought and read book in human history, the Bible. One verse we can start with is Ephesians 6:4, which reads;

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Or how about Psalm 78:5, which says,

 "He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children,"

 And if we're man enough to read on, Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 says this to fathers of rebellious sons:

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Now, will sin reign in the hearts of some sons, even though they've been brought up and disciplined by Godly men, yes...

Are men responsible for their own actions in the sight of the LORD, yes...

Can the violence we see in our culture being thrust upon society, in large part, by men, be GREATLY reduced, yes it can...

This little girl didn't have to die in the arms of her mother, who had dreams and goals for her little gift from God, the way that she did. The two young men who killed Aliyah will pay for their crime, in this life and the next, apart from faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of their sin, and as a society, we long for justice. But what about their fathers? Are they around? Are they alive? Do they even know what their sons did???

In Revelation 21:5, Jesus said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And to that, I say, Amen.

As men, we must embrace our roles in society and do our duty to the LORD. He has commanded us to disciple our children, to love our wives, and to work hard. With a quick glance at culture, it doesn't take long to see how men have completely abandoned what they were created for, and wear their refusal to be a man as a badge of honor. LORD help us.

As you go through your day, keep Aliyah's family in your prayers, as well as the city of Chicago. I have family that live there, know men ministering there, and believe God can do amazing things there.

May every man do his duty...

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**If you're able to help with the $8,000.00 funeral cost, please visit my wife's blog where she's collecting money to give to the family. This little girl was best friends with my friends young daughter in kindergarten, so this story is very disturbing on several fronts. If you can't help financially, please pray as you remember to. Thanks, and God Bless...

Here's To Good Health!

Stacy Kennedy wrote a nice piece on the importance of men living a healthy lifestyle. From eating right, to getting enough exercise, it pays to get healthy. Her article can be read on the Reboot Your Life website by clicking here. Have a great weekend!

Living in the Good of the Gospel

From the movie, "Passion of the Christ"

This past Sunday, March 4, 2012, I had the honor of preaching at New Hope Christian Fellowship, a church I'm helping to plant in Northwest Indiana, and I preached from John 8. The story is well known among Christians, and was powerfully portrayed in Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ."

My message was titled, "Living in the Good of the Gospel," and I encouraged everyone to always remember a few things that would help them do this. Among them are:

• Never take your salvation for granted. (We all deserved death, but received life.)
• Remember who we were without Christ, and rejoice in who we are with Him!
• Like the woman in John 8, when rightfully condemned, we were allowed to walk away clean, redeemed, and forgiven.
• All have sinned in some fashion. (Romans 3)
• All sin is deserving of death. (Romans 6)
• We received mercy, grace, and salvation so others may do the same. 

My hope and prayer for you as well, is that you'll take some time today to reflect on the goodness of the gospel, and how undeserving anyone is to receive God's mercy, but have. God wants His children to know they've been redeemed and set free. He wants us to know as well, that when we sin, He's prescribed how it should be handled in 1 John 1, namely-- confession.

If you've stared death in the face, and have lived to tell about it, thank the Good Lord above for His amazing grace. Living in the Good of the Gospel is a state of mind and an attitude of the heart. How you doing with it?

Apostolic Gifts...Alive or Dead?

   

Do you believe the Apostolic Gifts ceased with the Apostles, or might they still be alive and well in today's world? Are the gifts of Miracles, Healing, Tongues, etc., still flowing to and through Christians today? Just curious about what you believe....

Man's Role in Marital Communication

I think we'll all agree that communication in marriage is a main ingredient for a successful marriage, but guys, have you ever stopped and thought about how easy our part is? I mean seriously, it struck me the other day while out on a lunch date with my lovely wife. She spoke and I listened. I listened to her share her thoughts and ideas, her concerns and questions, and her excitement about the future while she works on some new eBook ideas. And what did I do --I listened. Oh yeah, I inserted the occasional, well timed, "uh huh," and "oh really." I also threw in a few, "that's great," and one that most men do well, the big ol "Wow."

So there it is. After 20 years of marriage, I finally got the communication thing down pretty well. Our lunch date ended with my wife feeling happy she got to share everything on her mind for a few hours, and I got to listen to her share. Most guys can do this with some effort, and it isn't too far from grunting, so you don't feel feminine doing it either. So give it a shot, guys, insert a few strategically placed words during a lengthy conversation your wife is having.......with you, and watch how happy she'll be knowing that you love her.

Happy communicating!

One Day Til the Challenge!

You still have time to join me on my "10 for 10" challenge. We'll start tomorrow, Monday, February 20th, and end on Thursday, March 1st.

Start what you're asking - a ten day juice fast! Read my previous post to learn about it and see a trailer for a documentary on Netflix that's been a huge blessing to me!

I'll post again this evening with a list of everyone who's doing the fast so we can encourage one another on the journey to better health!

My "10 for 10" Challenge!

I haven't written about it, but I've been on a juice fast for the past 46 days, and plan on doing 60. I started out with 30 days in mind, but around 24 days into it, I decided to watch the documentary, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" on Netflix, and was motivated to go for 60. If you have Netflix, I HIGHLY recommend you watch that movie. It's tremendous!

So far I've lost about 55 pounds, went from 48-44 on my pant waist, and feel great. I have a lot more energy throughout the day and haven't felt this agile in a long time. My 10 year old son, Ravi, saw me come out the bathroom with no shirt and said I have a "six pack." He may need glasses, but I'll take it!

So, about my "10 for 10" challenge. I'm looking for 10 people to join me on my journey to good health and do a 10 day juice fast with me. The dates are from February 20 - March 1. These are the last 10 days of my 60 day fast, and would love to end my journey with you partnering with me. We can all break our fasts together on the morning of March 1st!

If you've  never fasted before, visit the website, Reboot Your Life, which was founded by the creator of the documentary mentioned above. There's loads of great information for you to read and learn more about fasting and moving toward better health.

So whether you're a seasoned faster, or first timer, would you please consider joining me on this journey. The Lord describes us as 'mind, body, soul and spirit' and I believe He desires for all these areas to be as healthy as possible. Let me know if you're in via an email, or 'Friend' me on Facebook. God Bless and Juice On!

Here's the trailer for the documentary, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead," which can be seen on Netflix, or rented on Amazon for $2.99!

The Essence of Masculinity

Boys Will Be Boys

I have five boys, so let's just say I know a thing or two about how boys act on their road to manhood. Besides having five sons, I have two older brothers, and we were no different growing up either. Boys have a need to express themselves in masculine ways, and a good parent won't try to beat that out of them, or steer them toward expressing themselves like their sisters. A bloody nose is good medicine for the road ahead.

The goal of raising sons is to prepare them to be leaders one day. Whether that's in the form of husband, father, business owner, elder or deacon, we need to teach our boys that life isn't always fair and that sometimes they may need to fight for what is right. To shield your boy from the pain of life is to render him damaged for the the future. Momma won't always be there, and they should learn early on that Momma doesn't always have to be there.

Recently my boys have had some minor tussles with other boys from the neighborhood, and like good sports, after the dust settled, they shook hands and put it behind them. By no means do I want to raise bullies who seek blood for no good reason, but on the other hand, neither do I want to raise cowards who go running away when life gets a little tough. There's a time to talk, and a time to fight; a time to stand fast, and a time to retreat; and our goal as parents is to teach our boys when those times are.

Thanksgiving Proclamation by George Washington

George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation


Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"
 
Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.


Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

George Washington's actual signature

Raising Sons: Shaping Their Masculine Identity

In his book, Future Men, Douglas Wilson says, "Manhood is where boyhood should be aimed." With this in mind, I'd like to start my series about Raising Sons with a look at shaping our sons masculine identity.

Our boys should be brought up with a different mindset than our daughters; they should see themselves as soldiers for Jesus Christ, ready to fight the Lord's battles when needed, and ready to give their lives for the kingdom if called to do so. This won't happen by chance. If you let culture raise your boys, and you're hoping for good results, you might be waiting a loooong time. For a boy to grow up seeing himself as a Godly, masculine, soldier for the Lord, he's going to need help - he's going to need training.

Direct VI. by Richard Baxter

Direct. VI

The husband must be the principal teacher of the family. He must instruct them, and examine them, and rule them about matters of God, as well as his own service, and see that the Lord’s day and worship be observed by all that are within his gates. And therefore he must labor for such understanding and ability as is necessary hereunto. And if he be unable or negligent, it is his sin and will be his shame. If the wife be wiser and abler, and it be cast upon her, it is his dishonor; but if neither of them do it, the sin, and shame, and suffering, will be common to them both.
Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.

Direct V. by Richard Baxter

Direct. V

The husband is to excel the wife in knowledge, and be her teacher in the matters that belong to salvation. He must instruct her in the word of God, and direct her in particular duties, and help her to subdue her own corruptions, and labor to confirm her against temptations; if she doubt of any thing that he can resolve her in, she is to ask his resolution, and he to open to her at home the things which she understood not in the congregation, 1 Cor. xiv. 35. But if the husband be indeed an ignorant sot, or have made himself unable to instruct his wife, she is not bound to ask him in vain, to teach her that which he understands not himself. Those husbands that despise the word of God, and live in willful ignorance, do not only despise their own souls, but their families also; and making themselves unable for their duties, they are usually themselves despised by their inferiors: for God hath told such in his message to Eli, 1 Sam. ii. 30, “Them that honor me, I will honor; and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.”

Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.

Dircect IV. by Richard Baxter

Direct. IV

Also you must preserve the honor as well as the authority of your wives. If they have any dishonorable infirmities, they are not to be mentioned by children and servants. As in the natural body we cover most carefully the most dishonorable parts, (for our comely parts have no need.) 1 Cor. xii. 23, 24, so must it be here. Children or servants must not be suffered to carry themselves contemptuously or rudely towards them, nor to despise them, or speak unmannerly, proud, or disdainful words to them. The husband must vindicate them from all such injury and contempt.
(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)

Direct III. by Richard Baxter

Direct. III

It is the duty of husbands to preserve the authority of their wives, over the children and servants of the family. For they are joint governors with them over all the inferiors. And the infirmities of women are apt many times to expose them to contempt: so that servants and children will be apt to slight them, and disobey them, if the husband interpose not to preserve their honor and authority. Yet this must be done with cautions as these: 1. Justify not any error, vice, or weakness of your wives. They may be concealed or excused as far as may be, but never owned or defended. 2. Urge not obedience to any unlawful of theirs. No one hath authority to contradict the law of God, or disoblige any form of his government. You will but diminish your own authority with persons of any understanding, if you justify any thing that is against God’s authority. But if the thing commanded be lawful, though it may have some inconveniences, you must rebuke the disobedience of inferiors, and not suffer them to slight the commands of your wives, nor to set their own reason and wills against them, and say, We will not do it. How can they help you in government, if you suffer them to be disobeyed?


(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)

Direct II. by Richard Baxter

Direct. II

The husband must so unite authority and love, that neither of them be omitted or concealed, but both be exercised and maintained. Love must not be exercised so imprudently as to destroy the exercise of authority; and authority must not be exercised over a wife so magisterially and imperiously, as to destroy the exercise of love. As your love must be a governing love, so your commands must all be loving commands. Lose not your authority; for that will but disable you from doing the office of a husband to your wife, or of a master to your servants. Yet must it be maintained by no means inconsistent with conjugal love; and therefore not by fierceness or cruelty, by threats or stripes (unless by distraction or loss of reason, the cease to be capable of the carriage otherwise due to a wife). There are many cases of equality in which authority is not to be exercised; but there is no case of inequality or unworthiness so great, in which conjugal love is not to be exercised; and therefore nothing must exclude it.

(Excerpted from Chapter VIII. of this English Puritan’s manual on family life, “Christian Economics,” found in his book A Christian Directory which was first printed in 1673 and reprinted by Soli Deo Gloria in 1990.)