How To Take a Wife: Random Thoughts from a Simple Guy

As a father of nine wonderful children, marriage is talked about, read about, and thought about often in my home. Through the years, the LORD has laid upon my heart a blueprint that I hope will help my children all get married in due time. The process will look different for my sons and my daughters, yet, there will be some overlap in how both groups go about getting married, should the LORD allow.

In this post, I'll jot down a few thoughts I have on how my sons, and young men in general, should go about the process of "taking a wife." This isn't an exhaustive list by any means, and as a man gets older, say late twenties and beyond, the process will begin to change as well, so what I hope to do is present some unchanging principles that I've learned over the years.

Stage 1: Prepare Yourself
Young men should be about the business of men at an early age in life. This doesn't exclude having fun or playing xbox, but it does mean that there are limits on how much time is spent being burned in frivolous activities. As you age, say early teen to early twenties, what occupies most of your time should look vastly different from your younger years. What the bible calls men to be should begin forging who you're becoming. Study the lists on qualifications for Elders in passages like 1 Timothy 2, and Titus 1, then set those standards as your standards, and become them!

Stage 2: Have Biblical Worldview
Being firmly grounded in mid-air isn't an option! Know what you believe, why you believe it, and how to defend it from scripture. If you cant' defend it from scripture, change your belief so you can. Some key areas of biblical belief are:

• Will your wife work outside of your home?
  
• When will you begin having children?
  
• How will you educate your children?
  
• Will you use birth control?
  
• Do you understand headship and gender roles?
• What type of church will and your family attend?
• Will you go into debt, or stay out of debt, for various reasons?
  

Again, these are just a sample of what you should think through before you go entering into a life-long covenant with a young lady. You don't want to ask a lady to follow you if you don't know where you're going. Too many men get married before ever considering any of these questions.

I believe men should be ready to be a dad before ever getting married. I believe the womb should be open to the LORD in "most" cases, and that birth control should be avoided, again, in "most" cases.

I believe children should receive a thoroughly biblical education.

I believe God has laid upon the man the role of provider, and that his wife should work at home, helping to advance the vision that the LORD has given to the man for his household.

My ideals have grown over time, and I expect that they'll grow even more in the future. As a first generation believer, coming to some of the decisions I've come to hasn't been easy, or without complications, but I can say this, I'm able to defend why I believe them from a biblical perspective, and you should able too.

Stage 3: Look for a Wife, not a date
When the time comes and you feel like your ready for marriage, and not just a "good time," you'll begin the process of looking for a wife. Let me say this as clearly as I can, "Marriage is for Men, not boys," so if all you want is a date, good time, female companionship with no strings attached, push on. Don't ruin anyone's life because you're not willing to grow up. A woman wants a man who will lead her and take care of her, not a boy she must coddle and hope he changes someday.

The woman you choose as a bride should meet certain biblical standards, not perfectly mind you, because no one does, but at least be moving in that direction. Study the lists in Proverbs 31, along with the lists for Godly women in 1 Timothy 2 and Titus 2 as well, to gain a good understanding of what to look for in a wife.

Stage 4: Speak with her Father, or male protector
I believe in covenant headship, and therefore, I believe when a young man finds a gal he believes could be his wife, he should make his intentions known to her father, before making them known to her. This may sound awkward, but that's only because it flies in the face of how things are done in our culture, and in most Christian circles. If you're a good catch with some bait on the hook, a good father isn't going to rule you out right a way. He's only going to make sure you're marriage material, is fairly close to what his daughter is looking for (he'll know this because he'll know his daughter), and that you won't be wasting his daughter's time, and playing with the strings of her heart.

If you meet a young lady, perhaps one in her mid to late twenties or beyond, and she isn't living with parents, parents aren't alive, and/or there's no male protector in her life, then speak to her Pastor(s). A good pastor will want to protect his sheep, and he'll do what her dad was suppose to do, protect her. Let him know you're desiring marriage and that you wish to approach a lady from his church. Most pastors will welcome the opportunity of helping to facilitate a God-honoring courtship.

Stage 5: Begin the Courtship
There's too many ways to do courtship, and I'm sure many can meet the biblical standards for purity, pace and perspective, so I'm not going to go into the mechanics of "how" to court, but I will say this; courtship isn't marriage, but neither is courtship dating. You aren't in an unbreakable covenant by courting, but you shouldn't think that this courtship can end at any time, for any reason, either. I think somewhere in the middle is solid ground.


So there you have it, some of my random thoughts on "how to take a wife." If it helps, fine, if not, to each his own. Whatever way you go about finding and taking a wife, make sure you honor the LORD in the process, honor the young lady involved, and maintain your purity. Do this and you shall live, don't, and you shall die a slow and painful death. . . . . at least if my girls are involved!

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Lead Them to Calm Waters

As a homeschooling Dad, one of my duties is to protect my wife and children from "doing too much." It's a lot for my wife to already be the primary educator in the home, keeper of the home, covenant partner to myself, and all the other things that's wives and mothers do, so to allow them to take on unnecessary commitments never ends well in my home.

Over the years I've seen homeschool families lean toward overcompensating for the fact that their children aren't in public school doing all the things that public school children do, and they seem to think that enrolling their kids in more and more is somehow going to help their kids not feel so different or left out. Now, I'm not advocating living a cave-like existence, where your family never does anything, but again, the norm isn't too much non-involvement, it's over involvement.

I'm not one to let the public schools decide how many activities my children should be involved in. I don't let them set our educational agenda, dictate what's taught in our home, or let them have unfettered access to my wife and kids daily lives, so why should I feel any pressure from them when it comes to activities outside the home. They have no jurisdiction whatsoever in my home, and I aim to keep it that way.

Signs of your wife and children hitting critical mass and having an over-committed schedule could be:

• More irritability in the home
• Children not happy unless they're going somewhere
• Wife stressed out
• Dad not resting after work due to kids activities
• Dad's day off consumed with wife and kids commitments 
• Family's schedule at mercy of children's schedule
• Saying no to church and fellowship because of other commitments
• No gentle and quiet spirit in your wife
• Family not home when Dad's home
• Kids activities becoming a source of tension between parents

These are just  some symptoms that maybe it's time reevaluate your family's priorities. Eliminate what you can and really enjoy that which mattes most. Rather than the kids doing too many things on their own, plan to do some neat and exciting things as a family. It bothers me greatly when I see Dads who don't take their families to enriching family events where history is taught, friendships are formed, and everyone is encouraged. 

Dad's, don't let your children grow up and leave the home without you having done everything you could to make them feel like you really believed they were gifts from the Lord. A weekend getaway with Dad is worth so much more than a season with strangers.

Sit down this week and consider what your wife are involved in and committed too, then begin asking yourself whether or not it's something they need to do or can it be eliminated. Then, sit down with your wife and ask her feedback on what you think is best. Listen to her as your helper and covenant partner, but remember, whatever decision you both make, you're responsible for it and the impending results. 

If you listen to your wife, even if you don't agree, covenant headship dictates that you can't say, "I told you so." If you can't bless the decision then don't do it. You're the head of the home, go out and function as such with the Lord guiding your path.
 
Be the leader your wife and kids need you to be, and be the man of God the LORD created you to be. Lead your wife and children to calm waters; even if they aren't asking for it, they're looking for it. 


Best wishes!

A Companion of Fools

Three Fools of Carnival, Pieter Bruegel the Elder

"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, 

but the companion of fools will suffer harm." 

-Proverbs 13:20

There is much wisdom in this Proverb, both for young and old alike. In my home, we talk regularly to our children about the company they keep, the books they read, and how they spend their time, because my wife and I both know the powerful influence these have on our lives. 

In high school, I was the proverbial "fool" that Christian parents would've wanted their little Johnny to stay away from, and had my hand in leading many a young person down the fool's road. I lacked wisdom and discretion in many areas of life, and enjoyed finding others who shared my views. It wasn't until the Lord's grace reached me and transformed my life by removing my heart of stone and implanting a heart of flesh, that I was able to finally see my folly; and folly is putting it mildly.

So what company are you keeping these days? Who do you enjoy spending your days off with, your free time with, and your internet time with? 

What about your children; what company are they keeping? 

Who do you believe in your heart, has the hearts of your children? 

Have they become "the companion of fools," or do they walk with the wise?

The Proverb says "whoever walks with the wise becomes wise," but what exactly does that mean?  To 'walk' with the wise is to willingly reject the fool's path. Walking with someone is a predetermined, cognitive act, that moves you in a certain direction. It isn't just 'knowing' the wise, or once in a while heading in the same direction as the wise; NO, it's much more intentional, much more decisive, much more engaging, and much more formative. It's doing life with the wise, and letting the wise shape your life.

A companion of fools is easy to spot. He's the guys who mopes around aimlessly in life while the wise move toward a vision of where they want to be. The fool is seldom called upon to accomplish anything because no one, except maybe his mother, believes he can do much of anything based on his track record. He's the guy who quits every job he has because he believes his boss is picking on him. The guy who refuses to join the military because he hears stories about how hard boot camp is and that he can't play video games there. The guy who's only looking for a date, not a wife, and only pursues girls who's dad isn't the protector he's called to be in her life. The fool thinks life should be easy, where as the wise understand the fall of man and the duty of man toward God to bring order out of chaos in a fallen world.

The fool says little in life of any substance. He holds no place of honor in the systems of government God has established for humanity to live and function under. He's the guy who says "let's eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we shall die." The wise "eat, drink and are merry" as well (1 Cor. 10:31), but for much different reasons. In 1 Corinthians 15: 33-34, Paul says, 

"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame."

Are duty as men toward God is to pursue wisdom with all our heart. And our duty as fathers and parents is to raise sons and daughters who pursue wisdom with all their heart. The trumpet has sounded and the King awaits your service....

 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, 

 act like men, be strong."

-1 Corinthians 16:13

Fathers and Daughters Out for the Night!

On Monday, April 16, 2012, I had the honor of escorting my three beautiful daughters to a Father/Daughter banquet in Homer Glen, Il. that was hosted by Christian Heritage Church of Orland Park. This was the third year they've hosted it, and it just keeps getting better every year.

The guest speaker was, Todd Wilson, of Familyman Ministries. He spoke about what it takes to turn the hearts of fathers and daughters back to one another. His message was simple, straight forward, and touching.

The night began with a lovely five course meal, followed by some fun games where a handful of daughters had to help dad get ready for work and gift wrap their dads to show what a gift he was. Todd then spoke over dessert, and the night concluded with fathers and daughters having an opportunity to dance a waltz together, and as a group we danced the Gay Gordon and Virginia Reel.

All in all it was a fabulous evening, and one that every daughter should have the opportunity to experience with her dad. If nothing like this exists where you live, perhaps the men from your church could pull together and host one in your region.

To see more photos and read more about the event click here.

Here's a few more pics from the night!

We all fit at one table!

Friends and family (L-R) Herb, Vince, Me, Tony

Our table

Me showing everyone how to dance!

My daughter, Naomi!

Aerial shot of the banquet hall!

My friend, Herb being Gift wrapped by his daughters!

My daughter, Joy!

Me and my daughter, Janai, enjoying a waltz!

My friend, Tony, getting help from his daughters to go to work!

Don't Grow Weary...

An encouraging word to parents in our 3rd video blog. Happy Palm Sunday to everyone, and hope you all have a wonderful and safe Holy Week!

The Male Domain's YouTube Channel

I've been wanting to Vlog for quite some time, and finally made my desires a reality. (For those unfamiliar, the word 'Vlog' is short or 'Video Log' just like 'Blog' is short for 'Web Log.) I posted my Inaugural Vlog recently and hope to post up a Vlog about once a week or so.

My first one is an introductory post and is a bit longer than I wanted, and will be sure to shorten them in the future. I hope to Vlog about various topics and will be looking for ideas to tackle from you, my readers. So if you have some thoughts on topics, let me know.

You can subscribe to our YouTube channel and will get new videos as they get released, by visiting us at The Male Domain's YouTube Channel. Thanks, you all, and be blessed!

PS --There's a little box in bottom right hand corner of our side bar that will show our newest video postings as well!

The Result of NOT Fathering Your Sons

6 year old, Aliyah Shell, pictured above.

This past weekend saw 49 people get shot, with 10 fatalities, in the city of Chicago, where I grew up. One of the victims who died was a 6 year old little girl named, Aliyah Shell, who was shot while sitting with her mother on the front porch of their home, as her mom brushed her hair while they prepared to attend a birthday party on a warm, sunny afternoon.

Read the article here.

The reason this post is entitled, "The Result of NOT Fathering Your Sons," is because these shootings, as with most violent crimes, were perpetrated by young men with no fear of God, and no measure of self control, which fathers, like myself, are commanded to instill in their sons when they're growing up. When boys are allowed to grow up without men teaching them what manhood is all about, we end up with weekends like this one. The two young men who shot and KILLED this innocent little girl are 18 and 16 years old, who's lives are now forever changed, like Aliyah's.

I have a hard time believing that these two young men have hard working fathers who spend lots of time with them living at home. If that turns out to be the case, I will be very surprised. More often than not, young men who commit crimes like this are being raised by single moms, who are doing what they can to pay the bills and keep food on the table, while the men who fathered the boys, are out doing their own thing. I grew up in Chicago's Logan Square neighborhood, so I know what I'm talking about. But not for the grace of God, I would have been one these young men.

Having said that, I really wouldn't have a problem with the fathers of young men who commit crimes like this being held responsible in some fashion. True, the fathers didn't pull the trigger of the gun that killed Aliyah, but neither did they train the hearts of the boys who did, and for that, I say, hold them responsible.

Now the Chicago Police Department is scrambling as they look for ways to combat violent crime in Chicago, so that the citizens there can feel safe, when the only answer needed is found in the world's most bought and read book in human history, the Bible. One verse we can start with is Ephesians 6:4, which reads;

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Or how about Psalm 78:5, which says,

 "He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children,"

 And if we're man enough to read on, Deuteronomy 21: 18-21 says this to fathers of rebellious sons:

If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Now, will sin reign in the hearts of some sons, even though they've been brought up and disciplined by Godly men, yes...

Are men responsible for their own actions in the sight of the LORD, yes...

Can the violence we see in our culture being thrust upon society, in large part, by men, be GREATLY reduced, yes it can...

This little girl didn't have to die in the arms of her mother, who had dreams and goals for her little gift from God, the way that she did. The two young men who killed Aliyah will pay for their crime, in this life and the next, apart from faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of their sin, and as a society, we long for justice. But what about their fathers? Are they around? Are they alive? Do they even know what their sons did???

In Revelation 21:5, Jesus said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And to that, I say, Amen.

As men, we must embrace our roles in society and do our duty to the LORD. He has commanded us to disciple our children, to love our wives, and to work hard. With a quick glance at culture, it doesn't take long to see how men have completely abandoned what they were created for, and wear their refusal to be a man as a badge of honor. LORD help us.

As you go through your day, keep Aliyah's family in your prayers, as well as the city of Chicago. I have family that live there, know men ministering there, and believe God can do amazing things there.

May every man do his duty...

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**If you're able to help with the $8,000.00 funeral cost, please visit my wife's blog where she's collecting money to give to the family. This little girl was best friends with my friends young daughter in kindergarten, so this story is very disturbing on several fronts. If you can't help financially, please pray as you remember to. Thanks, and God Bless...

CAPTIVATED: Finding Freedom in A Media Captivated Culture

A few nights ago, my family gathered together for movie night, and watched a new movie that  came out a few months ago entitled Captivated: Finding Freedom in a Media Captive Culture. It was a blessing to watch and very informative. I know that it can be hard to find good quality movies to watch in your home, but this is one I highly recommend and will spark wonderful discussion with your children afterwards.  Here is a peek at the trailer:







The description:

Everywhere we go we are surrounded by screens. Have we entered a techno utopia or a virtual prison? Should we be unreservedly celebrating or cautiously analyzing? Has social media given us richer, fuller friendships, or have our relationships become robotized? What should we expect from the next generation, when the average American child has over fifty-three hours of screen time a week?

Discover answers to these questions and more from church leaders, media experts, and inspiring individuals and families from across America, and learn how God’s Word addresses the unique media challenges which our captivated culture must face.

One of the strongest points of this movie is that they had teenagers, dads, and women personally speak out about their addiction to media and how they overcame their circumstances. My children were impressed, encouraged and challenged by speakers such as Ray Comfort, Kevin Swanson, KP Yohannan, and other godly men in the movie. This is a wonderful movie for family movie night!

You can get this powerful movie here now on sale for 10% off. 

Or at Amazon HERE.

Also, my wife is trying to save people money when they purchase items from Vision Forum by using this coupon code. Check it out!
LAST DAY to save $15 off a $50 order at Vision Forum!

My "10 for 10" Challenge!

I haven't written about it, but I've been on a juice fast for the past 46 days, and plan on doing 60. I started out with 30 days in mind, but around 24 days into it, I decided to watch the documentary, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" on Netflix, and was motivated to go for 60. If you have Netflix, I HIGHLY recommend you watch that movie. It's tremendous!

So far I've lost about 55 pounds, went from 48-44 on my pant waist, and feel great. I have a lot more energy throughout the day and haven't felt this agile in a long time. My 10 year old son, Ravi, saw me come out the bathroom with no shirt and said I have a "six pack." He may need glasses, but I'll take it!

So, about my "10 for 10" challenge. I'm looking for 10 people to join me on my journey to good health and do a 10 day juice fast with me. The dates are from February 20 - March 1. These are the last 10 days of my 60 day fast, and would love to end my journey with you partnering with me. We can all break our fasts together on the morning of March 1st!

If you've  never fasted before, visit the website, Reboot Your Life, which was founded by the creator of the documentary mentioned above. There's loads of great information for you to read and learn more about fasting and moving toward better health.

So whether you're a seasoned faster, or first timer, would you please consider joining me on this journey. The Lord describes us as 'mind, body, soul and spirit' and I believe He desires for all these areas to be as healthy as possible. Let me know if you're in via an email, or 'Friend' me on Facebook. God Bless and Juice On!

Here's the trailer for the documentary, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead," which can be seen on Netflix, or rented on Amazon for $2.99!

Single Christian Ladies and the Men Who Need to Marry Them

There's an epidemic in the church today of twenty-something year old young ladies who've never been courted, or have been asked for their hand in marriage, and this ought not be the case.

We need to train, and re-train, the young men in the church today in the art of taking a wife, and we dads, need to raise our young boys in such a way that will enable them to actively, and aggressively, pursue a young lady for the purpose of courtship and marriage. The family helps to ensure the future of the church, and a good, Godly family is an exceptional witness of the grace of God to a non-believing world.

Bible colleges and churches are filled with beautiful, intelligent, Godly gals, who are just waiting to be pursued by a strong, masculine young man with a compelling vision for his future family. While they're waiting, many young ladies are going all the way through college and beyond, and rather than wait any longer, they may opt for the mission field, pursue a career, or perhaps even settle for a "non-believer" because he simply pursued her. This is shameful, and a blight on unmarried Christian men. We must protect the daughters of God, and one way of protecting them is by marrying them!

I have a good friend who had fallen victim of the "de-fanging" that occurs to many young men once they become a Christian. They're told so often that those beautifully attractive young ladies are their sisters, and that Christians don't do things like non-Christians, and they should never do anything that might "mess up" the relationship if things don't work out, that they end up just observing them, and going to single events with them, until one day they see those ladies move away, go to another church, or marry someone they've settle for, and spend the rest of their lives with someone who doesn't have the kind of vision they always hoped their husband would've had. This occurs far too often, and it doesn't have to be this way. The problem with de-fanging the young men, is that, well, they're still men, with the same hormones, same desires, and same need of a Godly companion.

The rare exception to this would be those who God supernaturally calls to be single for their entire lives, for a very specific purpose that He's ordained. This is rare, but does occur. Unfortunately, the church is full of men who haven't been called to singleness, but haven't been equipped for marriage either. I hope to help change this!

The friend I spoke of was able to regain his "God-given aggressiveness" before it was too late, and went out and pursued the girl he wanted, and today they're happily married serving the LORD together in ministry. Him and I had some good talks about what steps he needed to take to see this come about, and I'll be sharing some of those thoughts in the next several posts.

Raising Sons: Shaping Their Masculine Identity

In his book, Future Men, Douglas Wilson says, "Manhood is where boyhood should be aimed." With this in mind, I'd like to start my series about Raising Sons with a look at shaping our sons masculine identity.

Our boys should be brought up with a different mindset than our daughters; they should see themselves as soldiers for Jesus Christ, ready to fight the Lord's battles when needed, and ready to give their lives for the kingdom if called to do so. This won't happen by chance. If you let culture raise your boys, and you're hoping for good results, you might be waiting a loooong time. For a boy to grow up seeing himself as a Godly, masculine, soldier for the Lord, he's going to need help - he's going to need training.

Wilson, Driscoll Interview on Masculinity

If I had to point to two men I learned most of what I know about "Biblical' Masculinty, it would definitely be the two men in this interview: Douglas Wilson, and Mark Driscoll. Doug's books, and Driscoll's sermons were a fantastic one-two punch back in the day when the Lord started moving my heart toward Him and toward my family. I was excited to see these two Titans sharing the stage recently at Wilson's church for a conference they hosted. Do yourself a favor and take the time to learn from these Men!

Doug Wilson Interviews Mark Driscoll (Part 1) | Men & Masculinity from Canon Wired on Vimeo.

The Goodness of the Gospel

Are you a good person? 

Before you answer, let me share a passage with you;

"None is righteous, no, not one;
 no one understands;
   no one seeks for God.
All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
   no one does good,
   not even one."

-Romans 3: 10-12

The word of God is sobering and spot on. If the words above bother you because you actually believe people are essentially good,  and that humans aren't as bad as the Bible says they are, your being bothered is simply evidence that the above passage is true.

If you're honest with yourself, in the depths of your own soul, you know you're not a good person. You get mad easily, you don't always give to those in need, you don't live in the ghetto even though you can, you don't like being made fun of, you don't love everyone equally, you're a bit prejudice, you don't like Whites, or Blacks, or Latinos, or Asians, or some-other type of ethnicity. I don't say this to bash you, I just want you to be open and transparent with yourself, and with God.

O' Wretched Man That I Am

People tell me I'm a "good man" from time to time just because I take care of my family; i.e., spending time with my kids, taking them out to visit people and places, living with them, working to support them, and loving my wife. How shallow is it to say I'm "good" without knowing my heart....

Well, God knows my heart, and we see what he thinks of humans who are seeking to be good on their own. God doesn't call anyone "good" in the Bible, in the same we say people are good. God knows that apart from giving your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, He has no choice but to sentence you to eternal damnation because He is a 'just and holy' God.

^"And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." -Revelation 20:15

Revelation 20:15 is a very sobering verse, isn't it. It states the fact that all will be judged, and that any hoping or desiring to enter into eternal bliss, must have their names written in a special book known as 'the book of life.' God has set the rules for eternity and no one has the authority to change them. Not Buddha, not Mohamed, nor any other religious figure who has ever made an appearance in the landscape of human history. The God of the Bible has said that "anyone" wishing to be saved for all eternity MUST have their names written in the book of life.

The Good of the Gospel

So, the million dollar question is: How does one get their name written in the book of life? Here's how the Bible says it happen...

^"And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved." -Acts 4:12 (Referring to Jesus Christ in context)

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8: 37-39

"The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." -Romans 10: 8-10

No matter how you've lived to this point in your life, God extends an offer of salvation to you....

Will you accept?

Be blessed

If you haven't seen this, I think you'll find truth in it.....

The Essence of Feminine Godliness

I was given the blessed opportunity to guest post at Far Above Rubies: a blog that promotes and defends Biblical Womanhood. Thanks to my friend, Jasmine, for allowing me to share with her readers.

Click here to read my post on 'The Essence of Feminine Godliness!'

Jurisdictional Authority

God has set jurisdictional boundaries in all areas of life; whether it's at work, home, church, or in the neighborhood, we must understand and respect the the jurisdictions that exist within our lives. You might be wondering what I mean by 'Jurisdictional Authority,' so let me give you a brief description that might help you gain a better understanding of what many have failed to grasp.

Jurisdictional authority simply means that there are areas of life you have no authority in, and if you try having authority there, you'll quickly find yourself face-to-face with those who actually do have authority in that area, and in opposition to God's established structure. For instance; at work you have no authority over your peers, but your supervisor does. If you try telling your peers what to do, they'll resist you and you'll soon be standing at attention in the bosses office. Or at church, you might try disciplining another member of the church for sin, but might not be in a position of Elder or Deacon, and the actual Elders and Deacons might come down on you for over-stepping your boundaries.

Speak to the Parents, not the Child
Another area that we must understand and respect jurisdictional authority in is the area of family. If you're not the parent, know your limitations. You may have wonderful ideas for what someone's child should be doing with their life, talents, and treasures, but to try and persuade that child to do it without speaking to their parents first is not acceptable. The age of the child does have some bearing on when it's appropriate to speak to them without having spoken to the parents however. If the child is in their twenties, that's one thing, but if they're still teens or younger, that's another entirely. The bible says nothing about 'your 18 now, you're an adult.'

As well, I believe gender plays a role in deciding when it's appropriate to approach a child with your plans for them without having spoken to the parents. I believe if a daughter is living at home, she is under her father's covenant headship, and the proper way to address the daughter with significant plans like where to work, go to church, who to court, etc., should absolutely be brought to the parents attention first, and especially the father who God has placed over that daughter until she's  married.

With sons, it's a little different. Boys should be groomed to be Priests, Prophets, Providers and Protectors, and because of this, should be given more opportunity to choose the right path for themselves in their early twenties even if they're living at home. They don't need a father's protection in the same way a daughter does, so their releasing, if you will, from the father's covenant protection should come about sooner rather than later. To protect a boy for too long will thwart his spiritual growth and leave him in a state of arrested development as a leader.

Know Your Own Authority
Jurisdictional authority exists because God put it in place. Know your boundaries and respect those who have God given authority where you have none. As well, know your authority and use it to guide and direct the affairs of your life with grace and wisdom.

Let me know what you think on the subject, and whether you agree or disagree, and why. I'd love to dialogue on the matter. Grace and Peace!

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