The Essence of Masculinity

Wilson, Driscoll Interview on Masculinity

If I had to point to two men I learned most of what I know about "Biblical' Masculinty, it would definitely be the two men in this interview: Douglas Wilson, and Mark Driscoll. Doug's books, and Driscoll's sermons were a fantastic one-two punch back in the day when the Lord started moving my heart toward Him and toward my family. I was excited to see these two Titans sharing the stage recently at Wilson's church for a conference they hosted. Do yourself a favor and take the time to learn from these Men!

Doug Wilson Interviews Mark Driscoll (Part 1) | Men & Masculinity from Canon Wired on Vimeo.

The Decline of the Nuclear Family

Here's a nice piece on the decline of the traditional (or should I say, Biblical) family, taken from The Resurgence blog, and written by Nick Bogardus.

At the end of article are some links to sermons that every Christian should listen to.

Enjoy!

A Massive Culture Shift

There is a massive shift happening right now in our culture. The ink and pixels that have spilled on the change are markedly hopeless and without answers. To see the tip of the iceberg, we only need to look at the LA Times from last month. The nuclear family is now the minority of households in California.
“New census figures show that the percentage of Californians who live in “nuclear family” households - a married man and a woman raising their children - has dropped again for the last decade, to 23.4% of all households. That represents a 10% decline in 10 years, measured as a percentage of the state’s households.
Those households, the Times analysis shows, are being supplanted by a striking spectrum of postmodern living arrangements: same-sex households, unmarried opposite-sex partners, married couples who have no children…new sorts of households - blended families; bands of middle-class singles who live and vacation together; families that were once called “broken” - are increasingly the standard.” LA Times, US Census Data Show California Families Changing, June 22, 2011

Actors in Limbo

What it means to be a family is being re-defined, largely by a tectonic shift in gender roles. In the Wall Street Journal, Kay Hymotitz argued that because women are moving ahead more quickly and in greater numbers in our advanced knowledge economy, that husbands and fathers are now optional. This, she says, has created a situation in which today’s pre-adult male is like an actor in a drama in which he only knows what he shouldn’t say, and in which most men in their 20s hang out in a "novel sort of limbo, a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance."

"Perhaps the things that really need redeeming are the church’s lack of a voice in what it means to be a man or woman."

Untethered, Lost, Mute, and Passive

In Hanna Rosin's article in the The Atlantic entitled “The End of Men,” she paints a nearly identical picture of the alpha-female dominating mute and passive males. “He can be sweet, bitter, nostalgic, or cynical, but he cannot figure out how to be a man. 'We call each other man,’ says Ben Stiller’s character in Greenberg, 'but it’s a joke. It’s like imitating other people.'”
The New York Times described this new "emerging adulthood" as a block box where 20-somethings delay reaching adulthood, often until their 30s.

The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain untethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life.

Don't Focus Just on the External

Of course that is true in the church, only you can replace the Teach for America jobs with short-term missions trips. For all of the time and energy spent on “redeeming the arts”, “redeeming cities”, and everything else we want to attach the word "redeem" to, perhaps the things that really need redeeming are the church’s lack of a voice in what it means to be a man or woman. Exerting so much effort on people’s activities is only addressing externals, symptoms. Chances are if a guy can be a man who loves Jesus, reads his Bible, gets a job, leaves his parent’s house, and loves one woman, then he will also be effective wherever God has called him, be that the arts or in business.
One important thing that needs to be pointed out about this cultural shift described in the articles above is that it is turning us into autonomous individuals. Mrs. Hymotitz even went so far as to say that husbands and fathers are optional in this new economic paradigm. While we might bandage the need for relationship with loosely-defined friendships, these float on the surface of lives marked by selfishly avoiding commitments, being untethered to romantic partners, or permanent homes.

"Perhaps the most loving, most prophetic thing the church can do is to call men in their 20s to love Jesus, read their Bibles, get a job, to leave their parent’s house, and to love one woman."

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

In the face of the confusion, hopelessness, and lack of any answers from our culture, one of the most radical things the church can call Christians to is back to God’s design for men and women. Men and women were created to cultivate and steward God’s creation—to rule over it as his representatives. But what is often underemphasized is that we were created to do that together. God made men and women in complementary ways to reflect his trinitarian nature, his covenantal love in marriage, and his authority and submission in the church. This ultimately points toward the unity that will exist when Jesus comes back for the bride he loves. All of this is his love towards us.

The Call

Perhaps the most loving, most prophetic thing the church can do is to call men in their 20s to love Jesus, read their Bibles, get a job, to leave their parent’s house, and to love one woman—according to the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, and the New York Times, no one is doing that.

Again, take the time to listen to these sermons. They were foundational to the life change that occurred in my life when they were first preached, it took me hours to download them on my 'dial-up' connection.

Women and Femininity by Mark Driscoll


Men and Masculinity by Mark Driscoll


Celebrating Children by Mark Driscoll


For a list of good books on the subjects discussed, click here to view my resource page!

Basic Training: The Biblical Man

This is a phenomenal message delivered by Mark Driscoll a few years back. Great food for thought for men of all ages, and for ladies as well, since you all have to deal with us, for better or for worse!

For more Training & Instruction on Biblical Manhood, visit The Male Domain's Resource Page by clicking here! A few recommendations on the subject would be:

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gospel Coalition 2011 in Chicago

Looking forward to attending this with family and friends this week. If you plan on attending, I'd love to meet you have some coffee together!

What Real Men Do

We have lost what the true definition of what it means to be a real man today---Driscoll does a great job reminding us!

"Little Boy Larry" Is Not a Member of The Male Domain

Mark Driscoll on 'Twilight'

If you've bought into the whole 'Twilight is alright' mentality, you may want to reconsider. Dad's, have you been passive about allowing your children to see the movies from this series, thinking they're harmless because "everyone else" is watching them? If you have, consider what is said during this sermon snippet...

The World Is Filled With Boys Who Can Shave

(From time to time I'll come across an article and/or video that is a good fit for the The Male Domain, and share with my readers, as in this case. The following article was taken from The Mars Hill Blog, and written by Mark Driscoll.)

“We are left with indefinite adolescence and a Peter Pan Syndrome epidemic where men want to remain boys forever.”

 

 The world today is filled with boys who can shave.

Historically, a guy would go through two life phases: boy, then man. The transition from boy to man was comprised of five sociological variables that happened almost simultaneously or in very close succession: Leave your parents’ home (Gen. 2:24); finish your education or vocational training; start a career-track job, not a dead-end-Joe one; meet a woman, love her, honor her, court her, and marry her; have children with her.

But here’s what’s happened. Rather than moving from boy to man by this succession of sociological transitions, we’ve created something called adolescence. It’s a third life stage in the middle between boy and man. We don’t know what to call them so we just call them “guys.” These are boys who can shave.

Today, adolescence starts somewhere in the teen years and continues indefinitely. There is no foreseeable end. The problem with adolescence is guys don’t know when they’re ever going to grow up and be men, and no pressure is exerted on them to do so.

Is it when you’re 16 and you can drive? Or 18, when you can vote and join the military? Or 21, when you can drink? Is it when you graduate from college after you’ve worked on your undergrad degree for seven or eight years? Is it when you get married? Is it when you have kids? Is it when you buy a house? No one knows. So, we are left with indefinite adolescence and a Peter Pan Syndrome epidemic where men want to remain boys forever.

“You men are the glory of God, and God wants his glory to shine through you.”

So where do you go? Go to Scripture. Go to Scripture. First Corinthians 11:7, Paul says a man is “the image and glory of God.” He is to reflect the truth and the goodness and the love and the mercy of Jesus, his God and Savior. He is the glory of God. And I still have hope for the guys. When I see a guy, I don’t see a porn addict, an Internet junkie, a World of Warcraft freak, one of those guys who gets, you know, an apartment with 27 other guys and they all share a studio and pay five dollars a month and split a pizza and call that their bar mitzvah.

I have hope for those guys because they are the glory of God. They are the glory of God. Now, it needs some work, to be sure. But you men are the glory of God. And God wants his glory to shine through you. God wants his kingdom to be made visible through you. God wants you to be his sons. God wants you to follow, by the power of the Holy Spirit, in the example of Jesus and in the example of John.

I don’t care if you buy a truck, and you can play some video games and rock out on your guitar. I don’t really care. But the issue is when those are prevalent, predominant, and preeminent in your life. Some of you guys would argue with me on this and say, “It’s not a sin.” No, but sometimes it’s just stupid. It’s just dumb. You got fired because you were up trying to get to the next level and become a guild leader. That’s dumb. That’s totally dumb. You work one part-time job so you could play more guitar. That’s dumb. That’s really, really dumb. You spend all your money on a new car or truck, or toys, or gear, or gambling, or fantasy football. Dumb. Some of you say, “Well, it’s not a sin.” Neither is eating your lawnmower. It’s just dumb. Just doesn’t do anything. There are a lot of things that guys that are Christians do that aren’t evil, they’re just dumb.

“You’re not looking for the path of least resistance. You’re looking for the path of greatest glory to God. You take that path like John did.”

You’re the glory of God. What does it mean to be a man? John is a great example. He doesn’t waste his teens and his 20s downloading free porn, racking up his credit card debt, spending seven years to knock out his undergrad degree, trying to be the king of the fantasy football or baseball league, determined to pound more beers at happy hour and conquer more women than all the other guys to show he’s a real man. That’s no man at all. It’s a boy who could shave.

John shows us what a real man is: He’s filled with the Spirit. He humbly prepares the way for Jesus. He’s an evangelist who makes it his life work to introduce others to Jesus. He’s a man who ultimately is a giver and not a taker. He’s a producer, not a consumer.

Men, you are to be creators and cultivators. If you want to image God, your God is a creator and a cultivator. You create a marriage and you cultivate that woman. You create a child with her and you cultivate that child. You create a new family legacy for generations and you cultivate it. You create a business and you cultivate it. You create a ministry and you cultivate it. You want to be a man? You’re a creator and a cultivator. You’re a producer, not a consumer. You’re a giver, not a taker. You bring life, not death.
You’re not looking for the path of least resistance. You’re looking for the path of greatest glory to God. You take that path like John did.

Pastor Mark is the preaching and founding pastor of Mars Hill Church. This post is adapted from the sermon, “The Birth of John the Baptizer,” preached at the Ballard campus in October 2009.

16 Daddy Christmas Tips

(I found this recent post by Mark Driscoll insightful and thought
the men (and women) of the Male Domain might enjoy reading it!)

16 Daddy Christmas Tips -by Mark Driscoll

’Tis the season for Dad to drop the holiday ball, stress out as the money is being spent for presents, and miss yet another providential opportunity to lovingly lead his family. So, this blog is intended to help dads not fall into the same old rut of holiday humdrum, sitting on the couch watching football and eating carbs, but rather intentionally plan out the upcoming holiday season. Our children grow quickly and if we miss the sacred moments God opens up for us to connect with and bless our families, everyone suffers and we set in motion generations of missed opportunity.

#1 – Dad needs a plan for the holidays to ensure his family is loved and memories are made. Dad, what’s your plan?

#2 – Dad needs to check the local guides for what’s going on to make fun holiday plans for the family. In Seattle it’s here.

#3 – Dad needs to carve out time for sacred events and experiences to build family traditions that are fun and point to Jesus. Dad, is your calendar ready for December?

#4 – Dad needs to not let the stress of the holidays, including money, cause him to be grumpy with Mom or the kids. Dad, how’s your joy?

#5 – Dad needs to give experiences and not just gifts. Dad, what special memories can you make this holiday season?

#6 – Dad needs to manage the extended family and friends during the holidays. Dad, who or what do you need to say “no” to?

#7 – Dad needs to ensure his family is giving generously during the holidays. Dad, who in need is your family going to adopt and bless?

#8 – Dad needs to schedule a big Christmas daddy date with his daughter. Dad, what’s your big plan for the fancy daddy date?

#9 – Dad needs to schedule guy time with his son. Dad, what are you and your son going to do that is active, outdoors, and fun?

#10 – Dad needs to help Mom get the house decorated. Dad, are you really a big help to Mom with getting things ready?

#11 – Dad needs to ensure some holiday smells and sounds. Dad, is Christmas music on the iPod, is the tree up, and can you smell cookies and cider in your house?

#12 – Dad needs to snuggle up and watch some fun shows with the kids, especially the little ones. Dad, is the DVR set?

#13 – Dad needs to take the family on a drive to see Christmas lights while listening to music and sipping cider. Dad, is it mapped out?

#14 – Dad needs to help Mom get the kids’ rooms decorated. Dad, do the little kids get lights or a small tree in their room?

#15 – Dad needs to read about Jesus and pray over his kids. Dad, how’s your pastoral work going with each of your kids?

#16 – Dad needs to repent of being lazy, selfish, grumpy, or just dumping the holidays on Mom. Dad, are you a servant like Jesus to your family?

Marriage and Men

The sermon, "Marriage and Men," by Mark Driscoll, should be required listening for any Man who wants to be a follower of Christ, or is a follower of Christ!

OK, maybe "required" is a bit much, but not by far. If you haven't heard it yet, you must. If your a husband, or have a husband, if your a son, or have a son, if your a man, or want to be a man (whatever that means), you need to listen to this sermon.

Ladies, who read my wife's blog, listen to this sermon and then make your husband listen to it. You won't regret it!

Click here for the link to the sermon!

Driscoll on Nightline...

In case you didn't know, I'm a big Mark Driscoll guy. I'll go to bat for him, 'cause he'll go to bat for Christ, any day of the week! This is a new clip of him on Nightline that ran last week. Enjoy!

A Masculine Christianity: Husbands Protect Their Wives

In my first post on "A Masculine Christianity," I thought there's no better way to begin than with an address from the General, Mark Driscoll.

This is a clear and much needed message for Men in today's culture, when abandonment and unfaithfulness are knocking at your doorstep just waiting for a foothold...

Meeting "The Man"

On January 29th and 30th, my wife and I, along with some close friends, headed to Deerfield, IL, for a 2-day church planting conference hosted by Acts 29. Acts 29 is a church planting network that seeks to help equip Men to plant, and re-plant, church planting churches.

The co-founder, and President of A29 is Mark Driscoll. Mark is the Lead Pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, and author of several books. He planted Mars Hill in the fall of 1996, with around 12 people in his home. Today, Mars Hill averages around 7,000 in attendance every Sunday. Truly a work of God!

I became acquainted with Mark Driscoll in the late 90's when my marriage was rocky...my holiness was invisible...and my god was myself. I was driving home from Chicago late one Saturday night, when I tuned in to WYLL to see what they had on. This was a Christian talk station, that occasionally had something on worth listening to. This night would alter the course of my life forever.

The program that was on was a live call-in show called 'Streettalk.'(No longer on) It was hosted by guy named Leif Moi. Leif was a general contractor, Pastor, and host of this program which aired every Saturday from 11pm - 2am Chicago time. Well, Leif happened to be a Pastor at a young, newly planted church in Seattle named...yeah, you guessed it...Mars Hill.

Leif had a co-host come in periodically to help in out or cover for him if he needed the night off, and his co-host's name?...yes again...Mark Driscoll. The two would speak to Men in ways that I didn't think Pastors were allowed to talk. Little did I know Jesus, Paul, the Apostles, and Prophets had been speaking to Men like this for thousands of years, unbeknown to me.

Well, since then, I've spent countless hours being molded, rebuked, corrected, convicted, and whatever else good preaching is suppose to do by Driscoll, and have followed the life of his church and other ministry endeavors with great delight. Ministries like Acts 29 and The Resurgence. Mark is also on the board of the Gospel Coalition, headed up by D.A. Carson and Tim Keller.

The Lord has used Mark in my life to do great and mighty things. And for that, I will forever be thankful. When I spoke with him at the conference, I relayed this message to him and he was as humble as I've ever seen any man be. My wife and I both found Driscoll to be very kind and friendly. He even gave my wife a closed fist 'high-five' when he found out that we have 8 kids. I think he even told her that she 'rocks.'

I thank God that after using Driscoll to draw me close to Christ with much needed hard words, He then led me to a solid church, led by another Pastor named Mark, who would've known, Mark Jobe at New Life Community Church in Chicago. There the Lord brought Men into my life who would disciple me and prepare me for useful service in the kingdom of God. Mark, Mike, Asa, Dave, that would be you. I spent the better part of 12 years at New Life and am forever thankful to those Men who God is using mightily in the Windy City!

So all in all, the conference was extremely insightful, but the highlight of it all was finally, after all these years, getting to meet the General. You know, he even told me that him and Leif have recently talked about doing Streettalk or some form of it again. Well, if they do, I pray that some guy out there screwing up his life and not loving his wife will just happen to tune in on his way home from work, and maybe, just maybe, alter the course of his as well!

Church Planting with Acts 29...

This past week, my wife and I, along with some close friends packed up our bags and headed up to Deerfield, IL., on the campus of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, for a two-day church planting conference hosted by Acts 29.

This trip was kind of like a "third heaven" experience for me, because it was 10 years in the making.

Acts 29 is a church planting network co-founded by Mark Driscoll. Yes, the Mark Driscoll. (Just type his name in the search box at the top of this blog to see other postings about him and you'll know that I'm a big proponent of his, and have been for over 10 years.) I'll post about my personal thoughts, and put up a photo with him in a later post.

This church planting "bootcamp," as Acts 29 calls them, was very, very insightful, and comes highly recommended for all current Pastors, and anyone interested in possibly planting a church some time down the road. See their website for a full list of topics that are covered, doctrinal beliefs, current churches, etc., etc.. You can also subscribe to their free 'podcast' and listen to previous bootcamps from previous locations.

At this conference, on top of meeting and conversing with Mark Driscoll, I was also able to meet and converse with other Men who have taught me much about life and church planting thru the years.

Men like Darrin Patrick, who serves as VP of Acts 29, Dr. Ed Stetzer, Scott Thomas, director of Acts 29, Dr. Mark Dever, founder of 9marks ministry, and Tyler Powell, asst. director of Acts 29.

These Men were first class in all respects. Polite, courteous, intelligent, and willing to converse with people until they felt all their questions were answered.

Some topics we heard teaching on were:

• Leading the Mission
• Preaching the Mission
• Kingdom focused Church planting
• Missional and Biblical Church planting
• Church planting evangelism
• Vision for Church planting
• Q and A concerns for church planting wives

To see upcoming bootcamps, and other venues to hear these men at, visit their respective websites.

Thanks to the Acts 29 team for a first-class church planting experience. The gospel was proclaimed unashamedly!