Monday, November 29, 2010

Raising Sons: Fighting a Feminized Culture

"We live in a feminist and effeminate culture. Because of this, at best,
as a people we are uneasy with masculinity, and with increasing
regularity, whenever it manages to appear somehow, we call for 
someone to do something about it." -Douglas Wilson, Future Men

There's a reason tween girls like the Jonas Brothers (pictured above), and it's probably because they look like tween girls themselves. Skinny jeans and mom's haircut is how I heard one speaker at a conference I attended describe their look: not them specifically, but boys who look like them. 

Our boys are growing up in a society where being feminine and male are synonymous with one another. To be masculine is seen as being extreme, macho, or even mean to some. Carrying yourself like a man should won't get you very far with the culture we live in. Even in many christian churches, boys looking feminine isn't too abnormal. Parents say it's just a phase, or they'll grow out it, and perhaps they will; but why can't that "phase" be one of biblical masculinity? Why is a phase always sinful, and why do parents accept it?

If your boys are leaning toward the feminine look that's popular for young men, like, skinny jeans and moms haircut, you should be asking yourself some basic questions like: 

Who has your son's heart? 

Who are his primary influences? 

Why isn't his dad who he's trying to emulate? (Assuming dad doesn't wear skinny jeans and have moms haircut!)

And, is your son learning manhood from the word of God?

There are great passages of scripture that every son should learn from if his desire is to become a biblical man. I always tell young men to study the qualifications for Elders and Deacons laid out in 1 Tim. 3: 1-13, and Titus 1: 5-9, then set out to meet that criteria for their lives. One of my favorite verses, 1 Cor. 16:13, says, "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." (emphasis mine) And of course, I tell them to study the life of Christ, who is the ultimate example of manhood, and live a life that's pleasing to Him.

Being masculine has nothing to do with height or weight either, because I know some out there have accused me of saying that all boys should fall into the jock/athlete model, and that's not at all what I'm saying. He shouldn't be a bully either, and he shouldn't punch any guy out who didn't deserve it. A biblical man is one who understands his position in the world and embraces his duty as a man. To abandon his position as a leader, a provider, a protector, or a priest, is to sin against God, and to sin against those he's called to lead.

I've had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know some wonderful examples of young men who have risen above the mediocrity that culture sets forth for young men today, and have seen first hand what the Lord can do with those who truly desire to live Godly in an ungodly world. These young men come from households that take seriously the commandment to "bring up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4)

It takes work to raise Godly, masculine boys, and there may be some resistance along the way, because after all, their hearts are naturally inclined to resist God's will for their life and embrace sin as the norm; but don't lose heart, God's grace is inexhaustible. I'm a prime example of someone who defied God's will for my life through my teen years and beyond, and today, by His grace, and by His grace alone, I stand here encouraging others to lean on His word. Let's not accept what seems to be the norm out there, rather, let's redefine the norm with the word of God. You won't be popular, and you might even take one for the team from time to time, but that's okay, we need runners on base!


(At the end of this post, I have several resources listed that would benefit you with regards to raising sons.)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Resource and Giveaway for Daughters: The Family Daughter Book

This is Mrs. June Fuentes, popping in again to share a wonderful resource with all the readers of The Male Domain.I am having a fabulous giveaway at my  blog, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, on a wonderful book to encourage your daughters called The Family Daughter: Becoming Pillars of Strength In Our Father's House.

If you are looking for godly resources for you daughter or granddaughters, this is it. Be sure to check it out---the giveaway will end in a week on 12/6/10!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Loss of Innocence, and the Gift of New Life

For those who may question why our daughters need to be protected, I share the following testimony I received from a reader of mine. I share this with her permission, and I share this as a call to men to stand in gap, fight for your girls, and don't ever think they're old enough to go-it-alone. This reader is responding to my articles on Protecting Daughters, which can be read here, and here.

Her words...

I am a 30 year old Christian wife and mother of 3 boys. I came to know The Lord at the age of 19, after I had almost destroyed myself. To be honest, I thank the Lord that I am even alive today, let alone saved. I was taken from my mother when my parents divorced when I was a toddler. My dad later remarried and I was raised by him and my step mom. My dad was a soldier, which meant he was gone a lot. While he was away my step mom would demean him and not enforce his rules. She made jokes about him. She encouraged me to wear tight clothing and would tease me when I didn't want to. Some of her advice to me through the years was "get your education and make your own money so you don't have to be dependent on a man."
When I was a sophomore in high school and was dating a young man who was in college, her advice to me was that it's okay to have sex as long as I'm in love and I come to her for protection...oh, and she promised not to tell my dad. Long story short, before I turned 19 I was no longer a virgin, I had been pulled into Wicca and alcohol and drugs. I was raped at age 17 and ended up pregnant by the time I was a senior in high school. Since my boyfriend was 12 years older than me, he and his family made sure I had an abortion so he wouldn't end up in jail for statutory rape.
By the time I was 18 I was living with this man because I felt I had nowhere to go. I didn't want to go back to my father's house, where my step mom was cruel and cussed and screamed and my dad was never around to protect me from her. I decided my only option was to live with this man, who was no man at all. Even though he took advatange of me I was young and naive, so I believed him when he said he loved me. I payed the bills while he sat around playing video games and smoking pot.

One night he got brave and put my hands behind my back and shoved me against the wall. Then he threw me on the bed. All because I wouldn't give him my keys to my car. I fought him and got away. I got saved that night as I drove away from him. In my car, alone and scared and exhausted, I cried out to God. I only knew John 3:16. Up until this moment God was always the one I cried to in my pillow at night from the time I was around 7 years old and started having memories of being molested when I was 5. He was the one I cried to when I was hurt over and over by the people who were supposed to protect me. But I didn't know Him. This night, however, I cried out to Him and told Him I didn't want to be alone anymore and I didn't want to live for empty things that didn't satify me. I told God that if He could do anything with a worthless, pitiful mess like me, that He could have me. My life has been drastically different ever since. He washed me and changed my heart.

So..about your article about defending daughters:
I agree with you whole heartedly. Before I learned to forgive my step mom I was always very angry with her. It wasn't until I was a mother and saw her selfishness affecting my children and noticed my dad wasn't standing in front of my children, that I realized that my dad was equally at fault for some of the things I experienced as a young girl. He was off defending a nation, and I am grateful for his service and I understand that his job required that he be away. But even so, he was not able to defend his little girl. I thank the Lord for stepping in. He gave me a wonderful God-fearing husband who protects our family no matter who says what about it. all the men out there: stand in front of your daughters. Her life depends on it.

Thank you to my reader who shared this, and thank you to the LORD for doing a wonderful work in her life!

Your thoughts...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Protecting Daughters - Follow Up!

A few months back, I wrote an article on 'Protecting Daughters,' that you can read by clicking here.

I got several insightful comments from some of my readers, but just received a disturbing comment that I first thought might just be the opinion of the person leaving the comment, but then felt like there may be others who share their opinion.

I'm posting their comment to the article, and my response, in order to allow my readers an opportunity to way in if you so desire.

Their comment to my article:

"It`s a good thing that you love your daughters and want to stand up for them. All kids should have such a dad. But you give me the impression that you consider female purity and virtuousness as more valuable and more important than male, so therefore daughters require special protection. I don`t see why. Both teenage boys and teenage girls need parental guidance and protection, as they easily could be led astray by emotions and bad company.

Female virginity may traditionally have been some trademark for men to protect and exchange, but Jesus brought us a new gospel. To God, there is no difference between male and female purity. They are of equal value. Both daughters and sons should be raised to become conscious, independent adults, taught to always stay in personal contact with God and always be led by Him and no one else. As they grow older, they`re supposed to need lesser and lesser of parental protection, to grow into independent adulthood, become able to take care and responsibility of their own life. Otherwise parents have failed."
My response:

You say you don't see why girls need special protection; look around, who are most rape victims? Who gets taken advantage of most often? Who, if they give in at a moment of weakness, is left being a single parent? And who, did God make the weaker vessel?

Next, you say: "Female virginity may traditionally have been some trademark for men to protect and exchange, but Jesus brought us a new gospel." Jesus did not bring any "new" gospel, and are you saying that because of the gospel female virginity no longer matters? Confusing remarks...

You then said:
"As they grow older, they`re supposed to need lesser and lesser of parental protection, to grow into independent adulthood, become able to take care and responsibility of their own life. Otherwise parents have failed."

Where does the bible say this?
Your androgynous approach to parenting is very disturbing. To not see any difference in how we raise boys and girls is dumbfounding.

I agree, however, that boys must be taught self-control and also need protecting, but their protection is different than the protection I afford my girls, because you see, men are natural hunters, and girls are naturally hunted. So my boys must learn to control their desire for a pretty lady, and my girls must be protected from boys who've not learned this.

Share your thoughts!


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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

For the Women...

Just a quick hello from me, Steve's wife--Mrs. June Fuentes from A Wise Woman Builds Her Home--wanting to let all the readers here on TMD know about two great giveaways going on at my blog:


These would make a great gift for the special women in your life!

Have a blessed day!


Friday, November 5, 2010

Raising Sons

Next week, I'll be posting about raising sons from boyhood to manhood, and what we can expect at various stages throughout the process. There's much we - as parents- should be doing to help facilitate the transition of our sons from boys to men, so please join me as we embark on this wonderful journey together.

With 5 boys of my own, you know I want to get this one right. God be with us and give us wisdom in raising your sons to your glory!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

5 Reasons You Should Get to Church On Time

  1. You're a bad example to your children.
  2. You're a bad example to visitors.
  3. You're a bad example to the congregation.
  4. You're a bad example of a Christ follower.
  5. You're a bad example to your Pastor.
We could go on, but we'll stop there. I hope this isn't you, but if it is, repent and get up early this Sunday! 

Monday, November 1, 2010

Fabulous Lilla Rose Giveaway!

Hi everyone! This is Mrs. June Fuentes, wife to Steve, popping in to say hello to all the readers of The Male Domain and let you know that there is a fabulous Lilla Rose giveaway going on at my blog, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home!

Husbands and sons--Lilla Rose sells beautiful hair jewelry and much more for your mothers, wives, sisters and daughters be sure to visit them to purchase something special for the loved ones in your life. The holidays are around the corner (hint, hint!). :)

And for the women readers of The Male Domain--everything is beautiful--trust me! Hurry on over there right now!

Here is a glimpse of one their great items, The Flexi-Clip:

Click this link to go to the Giveaway and see more or here to directly visit the store.