Blessed With 20 Years....

Twenty years ago today, on June 29, 1992, I had the honor of taking the lovely, Juneko Elizabeth Sass, as my lawfully wedded wife. We rode the bus in San Diego, CA., to the Wedding Bell Chapel in downtown San Diego, and at the wise old ages of 19 and 20 became one in the eyes of the Lord.

Since that time, I like to believe that we've learned a thing or two about life and one another, and about raising the eight wonderful children that the Lord has blessed us with. God has been better to me than I deserve, and I am forever grateful to Him for giving me such a wonderful and Godly helpmeet to call my wife.

Over the years I have failed miserably as a husband, but June's always forgiven me. She has been a living example of grace and forgiveness to me in more ways than I can express, and I thank her for being a living example of Matthew 16:19, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” 


With June as my wife, I believe the darkest hours will turn brighter; I believe the saddest days will end with a smile; and I believe the next twenty years will be better than the previous.

Thank you, June, for saying YES I DO twenty years ago today when asked if you'll take me as your husband. It made me happy then, and it makes me happy now. I love you today more than ever, and I'm honored to call you my wife. Happy Anniversary!

Man's Role in Marital Communication

I think we'll all agree that communication in marriage is a main ingredient for a successful marriage, but guys, have you ever stopped and thought about how easy our part is? I mean seriously, it struck me the other day while out on a lunch date with my lovely wife. She spoke and I listened. I listened to her share her thoughts and ideas, her concerns and questions, and her excitement about the future while she works on some new eBook ideas. And what did I do --I listened. Oh yeah, I inserted the occasional, well timed, "uh huh," and "oh really." I also threw in a few, "that's great," and one that most men do well, the big ol "Wow."

So there it is. After 20 years of marriage, I finally got the communication thing down pretty well. Our lunch date ended with my wife feeling happy she got to share everything on her mind for a few hours, and I got to listen to her share. Most guys can do this with some effort, and it isn't too far from grunting, so you don't feel feminine doing it either. So give it a shot, guys, insert a few strategically placed words during a lengthy conversation your wife is having.......with you, and watch how happy she'll be knowing that you love her.

Happy communicating!

Man Gives His Life to Save His Wife's in Joplin Tornado

The Male Domain pays honor and bow it's sword to this husband
for doing his duty and saving his wife.

In a world where men disgrace and abandon woman far too often,

let us remember that the LORD has put into the hearts of men

a sense of duty that enables one to be courageous in the face of death....

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Don Lansaw, we salute you....

Fabulous Lilla Rose Giveaway!

Hi everyone! This is Mrs. June Fuentes, wife to Steve, popping in to say hello to all the readers of The Male Domain and let you know that there is a fabulous Lilla Rose giveaway going on at my blog, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home!

Husbands and sons--Lilla Rose sells beautiful hair jewelry and much more for your mothers, wives, sisters and daughters be sure to visit them to purchase something special for the loved ones in your life. The holidays are around the corner (hint, hint!). :)

And for the women readers of The Male Domain--everything is beautiful--trust me! Hurry on over there right now!

Here is a glimpse of one their great items, The Flexi-Clip:

Click this link to go to the Giveaway and see more or here to directly visit the store.

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Fatherhood 101

I'll be the first to admit - when it comes to fathering - I've got a long way to go. Many of the men I make time for in my life are men I can learn from when it comes to one of the most important jobs I'll ever have - fathering.

With only a limited number of hours in a day, week, or month, I know how important every decision I make regarding my time is. Saying 'Yes' to something that pulls me away from my home and family, is saying 'No' to my family. As men, we need to make hard calls and learn to live as Christ lived - sacrificially. We can't say yes to every ballgame, sports league, or guys outing that doesn't include our families. Doing so will greatly tarnish your familial legacy, or even worse, cause your children to reject the God you desire them to follow because, in their eyes, God stole their dad.

The decisions we make with our time will have far reaching implications with our children and families. Some things need our time - work, keeping up our homes and vehicles, time alone with our spouse, etc.- but others, not so much. Personally, I grew up a big sports buff, a jock if you will. I lettered in football, baseball, and swimming in high school, and was captain my senior year of several of those teams. When I wed, and even after having my first child, I still tried to maintain and feed my appetite for athletics that I thought I couldn't live without. I joined sports leagues, spent Saturday afternoons with friends at the field, and tried to catch every ball game on TV. All this was on top of working over 40 hours a week, so you can imagine, my wife and daughter didn't get much of me; and what they did get was usually left overs.

It took the Lord moving in my heart and me choosing to obey His voice to make the changes necessary to bring me back home - where I belonged. It wasn't easy, and it didn't happen over night. The changes were gradual, and even today, with eight wonderful children, I'll still catch the occasional ball game (playoffs usually), and keep up with the NFL, MLB, and NBA by listening to sports talk on my drive to/from work. My boys and I are big Chicago Bears fans, so this year is starting off great with them being in first place with a 4-1 record!

I believe the Lord speaks to men about their activities all the time, but unfortunately, most Christian men ignore what He's saying to them because of what obeying it might mean. How sad, that a team or game which has no soul, feels no emotions, and  knows none of its devotees names, is valued more to many men than their own children or wives. How many men opt out of church or bible study because there's a game on that they  absolutely can't miss? I've seen and heard this far too often, even in my own my life, before I chose to obey the voice of God.

My word to you guys is this: Don't make time for the temporal by sacrificing the eternal. Your wife and kids need your time - not your money or possessions - your time. An hour with dad to a 8 year little boy or girl is like a whole day in their eyes. Sitting on the couch with your kids gathered around conveys to your family that they really matter and that dad means what he says about God. The Lord will hold us responsible for how we bring up our children (Eph. 6: 4), and how we love our wives (Eph. 5: 25), and in order to accomplish both of these commandments, somethings gotta give.

So build you an altar, lay your time consuming activities on it, gather your family around, choose to obey the voice of the Lord, and let the bonfire begin - I'll bring the marshmallows!



Feel free to share a comment of how God has changed what you choose to spend your time on, I'd love to read about it!

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Husbands, Take Care of Your Homes

John MacArthur has a good word on Manhood that I think will bless your day. He challenges men to be the leader God has called them to be. Go to his blog and give it a listen by clicking here!

A Masculine Christianity: The Lion and the Lamb (Pt. II)

In my previous post I talked a bit about how men need to function as Lions in their homes when protection is the need of the hour, and there are many times when protection is the need of the day. But then there are times when men needn't be Lions, protectively prowling the grounds of their homes, looking for enemies that may have made entrance into their castles, and destroying them as the dutiful leader and protector that God has called them to be. No, sometimes men to function as Lambs, gentle, harmless, little lambs.

Jesus is called the Lamb of God, just as Jesus was called the Lion of the tribe of Judah, and to be the kind of husband, father, and leader we need to be, we too, must function as Lambs when called upon.

There are many times in my home when I've felt the need to function as a lamb, and not a lion. Most of those times have been when I'm dealing with my wife or my daughters, but not all. See, my wife and daughters are more delicate than my boys, so I must be careful and take caution when dealing with my wife and daughters. I need to be careful not to crush their spirits or make them fear me, and from experience of not always doing this correctly, it can happen easily.

My boys on the other hand, I can be a little harsher with. Not always, mind you, because as young boys, they too can be crushed in spirit, and I never wish to do that to them. My goal for my boys is to raise them to be Godly, masculine men who learn to lead their homes by watching how I lead mine, and I hope to lead my home by watching how Jesus leads the church!

So men, consider how you too can function as a lamb in your own home, or life, if your still unmarried, and ask the LORD to show you where you've failed. To truly be leaders who exemplify Jesus Christ in our homes, we must learn to function as Lions and as Lambs, and this my friends, is only possible by looking to Christ. He was the perfect Lion, and He was the perfect Lamb, so let us look to him as we seek to grow into what the LORD truly desires from us!

~Strength and Honor~

A Masculine Christianity: The Lion and the Lamb

The imagery of Jesus as the Lion and the Lamb is one that we Men can learn much from. There are times when courage and bravery are called for in this life, then, there are times when utter dependence and peacefulness are the need of the moment.

We see this dualism lived out in the life of Jesus Christ. He was the Lion of the tribe of Judah, and also, the Lamb of God. When confronted by the Pharisees, He vigorously fought against them, knowing that these religious leaders were attempting to hijack the nation and use it as a means of self-aggrandizement. These men were everything Jesus called them; liars, thieves, serpents, wolves, hypocrites, blasphemers, etc., and needed to be dealt with harshly. And I believe as Men, we are called upon at times to function as Lions in our own lives, with our own families.

Is someone threatening the spiritual or physical well being of your wife and children? Is someone seeking to steal the hearts of your wife and children and lead them down a path of spiritual ruin? Are philosophies entering your home through people, programs, or relationships that are not in keeping with faithfulness to Jesus Christ? Well, if any or all of these are present in your life at this time, you need to rise up and be the leader and protector that God has called and commissioned you to be.

Don't worry about what others might say, because they'll say it anyway, just listen to the Lord and Man-up! Step up to the plate and protect your home. You have one shot in this life to do it right, don't let life pass you by as Satan attacks your home like he did in the Garden, when Adam succumbed to his seduction and plunged the human race into utter chaos and lost what was most precious to him and his wife Eve, their relationship to the Father of Creation.

Men, hear me well, especially if you have teenage daughters. Any boy who ain't looking for a wife is looking to score with your precious little girl. If you disagree with me, you should change your name to Adam as well. Think about your teenage years, what were you like? Especially if you're a first generation Christ follower like myself. You know your intentions weren't good with other Men's daughters, so why would you think it's different now? Wake up, step up, put your cup on, and fight, like you're called too in Scripture...

14And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, "Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes."
Nehemiah 4:14 (ESV)

Don't be a Lamb when you need to be a Lion. You're daughters need you to protect them, God has called you to protect them, now find your sword and kill a beast. Whether the beast has a name, (maybe someone you know personally), or is a "perceived role model," who is stealing their hearts in more subtle ways, whichever the case, they must be dealt with swiftly and decisively.

One example of a "perceived role model" stealing the hearts of teenage girls subtly is none other than Miley Cyrus. If you think I'm exaggerating, just Google her name and click 'images' to see what's she's promoting. Do I blame her? Partly, but mostly her Dad, Billy Ray, who's pimping his daughter for the o' mighty dollar.

So I leave you Men with this thought; Is anything threatening your family? Not just physical threats which are much easier to detect. But spiritually, which may even be more important. You know, where the heart lies. Are your wife and children being protected by you there, where it counts most? If not, are you willing to be a Man and defend those God has entrusted to you? If you won't fight for your family, who will you fight for?

Next up, functioning as Lambs for the well being of our homes...

Love Your Wives...

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25

The most important duty a husband has toward his wife is to love her. Protecting, providing, leading and everything else that a husband should do for his wife is wrapped up in these words...Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church.

If a husband truly loves his wife, doing all the things that the word of God says he should do will be an honor. For the Christian Husband whose heart has grown cold toward his wife through sin and disobedience, doing anything for his wife will seem like drudgery. What a shame that, the one man who his wife has placed all of her hopes and aspirations in, has chosen to trample on the soul of the woman he said he would love.

Let us as Husbands seek to do the will of God. You don't have to guess at God's will for you in your marriage. You don't need your wife telling you that things need to change. You don't need booze to wash away your sorrows. You simply need to start actling like a Man. Start loving your wife and start watching her blossom.

Seek to:

• Honor her with your speech.
• Understand her with mind.
  
• Cultivate her with your hands.
• Encourage her with your tongue.
• Embrace her with your heart.
• Defend her with your life.

May the Lord's peace and strength fall upon us all as we seek to carry out His glorious commands!

God Bless You Men...and begin today to love the wife of your covenant!

The Older You Get, the Wiser You Get, Right?

Where are the old wise men who are supposed to be mentoring the young men of today?

Where are the Titus 2 men who should be leading churches and setting ups systems to ensure the spiritual formation and growth of the younger men in the church?

Are you on a path that will allow you to fill those shoes when the strength of your youth has left you, and you find yourself the elder spokesman in the midst of men looking for wisdom and leadership?

As I age, now approaching 38, I find myself wondering if I'm where I should be in the area of wisdom. This isn't an easy question to answer, because after all, how do you really quantify "wisdom?" By how much money you make? By how big your home is? By how long you've been married? You see, there isn't an easy answer to the question.

The bible does say that "the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom," and that we should seek after wisdom, but when does one become truly 'wise?' And how do you know?

A few things I look for when determining whether someone is wise, and worth listening to, are:

• Does he fear the LORD? And does his life prove this to be true...
• Is his life worth imitating? And, would I be okay with my sons turning out like him?
• Do his decisions in life benefit more than just himself?
• Do respectable men follow him as a leader?
• Have his decisions helped, or hurt, those closest to him?
• If he's married, what's the countenance of his wife like? Is it uplifted, and joyful...or downtrodden, and sad?
• If he has children, are his children respectable, or regrettable? Would I be okay if my children turned out like them?
• Does he have a biblical worldview concerning issues of life, marriage, family, children, education, gender roles, and masculinity and femininity?
  
• And finally, are his decisions about life based on the wisdom of God's word?

So, these are just a few questions that I ask myself about someone when determining if they're wise, or not, and whether I would go to them for counsel, or not.

What about you, how would you hold up under the weight of these questions? They may not exactly address where you're at in life, but just as a road map, would you do okay if examined by them?

To my shame, I've made many regrettable decisions, and have hurt those around me far more than I ever would have desired to, and live with the knowledge of this everyday. If it were not for the grace our LORD, I shutter to think of where my family would be today. As each day begins afresh, I hope the grace of God allows me to gain another nugget of wisdom, so perhaps one day, those around me will be able to say that I was someone worth imitating.

It isn't a given, that as you age, you grow wiser--you must set yourself on a trajectory to land there. Are you on that trajectory? Would those around you agree???

Busy With My Wife...

If it seems like I haven't been posting much lately, it's been because my wife, June, who runs "A Wise Woman Builds Her Home," has been ill since the beginning of the year.

She's been in and out of doctor's visits, ER visits, etc., and I've been a lot busier than normal, picking up the slack of caring for the children more, buying groceries, and all the other things I take for granted when my wife is feeling good.

She's on the road to recovery, and I believe the LORD will give her good health in near future and beyond!

So, if things pick up for her health wise, I might be able to post more often than I have. If not, reruns will have to do!

(PS - I added "word verification" for commenting because I'd been getting a large amount of spam comments. I hated to do so, but hated deleting all the spam more!)

15 Blessed Years!

On Friday, June 29th, my wife and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary with a little get away to a bed-n-breakfast in Chesterton, IN., called The Gray Goose Inn.

We had a GREAT time!

While there we enjoyed a nice Italian dinner at a little cafe called Lucrezia in Chesterton just a few minutes from the Inn.

After dinner we decided to go to the Indiana Dunes which was just 10 minutes away and took a walk barefoot along the seashore while visiting with one another and sitting for a time while overlooking the lake front.



June waiting for a kiss from her Knight!

Me and my love!

A nice sunset!

My love and Me!

Birdwatching room at the Inn!

My foot!

Hi Kids!

Homeschooling Ducks!

The end of a day!

22 ¶ Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Proverbs 18:22

Amen. And thank you Lord!

Look to Christ

1 ¶ Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12: 1-2

Men, life is tough, and the weak bow to the pressures of life. But we are not of that stock. We are of those who like Christ, persevere for the joy set before us.

Stay strong as you seek to rebuild the culture of your life and family and always look to Jesus when the going gets tough and you feel like bowing out. I'm in your corner and so are those of us who choose to live counter cultural lives.
One income homes, homeschooling, patriarchy, and everything else that renders you a freak of nature, yes and Amen!

God Bless You Men as you seek to stand your ground for your wives, your children, and ultimately for your Lord!

"And I looked, and rose up, and said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses."
Nehemiah 4:14

For further encouragement on the topic of Male leadership click here to read Douglas Wilson's article entitled 'Men Without Chests.'

Nehemiah: The Man of God - Part I

1 ¶ The words of Nehemiah the son of Hachaliah. And it came to pass in the month Chisleu, in the twentieth year, as I was in Shushan the palace,
2 That Hanani, one of my brethren, came, he and certain men of Judah; and I asked them concerning the Jews that had escaped, which were left of the captivity, and concerning Jerusalem.
3 And they said unto me, The remnant that are left of the captivity there in the province are in great affliction and reproach: the wall of Jerusalem also is broken down, and the gates thereof are burned with fire.
4 And it came to pass, when I heard these words, that I sat down and wept, and mourned certain days, and fasted, and prayed before the God of heaven. (Nehemiah 1:1-4)

As I read through Nehemiah as part of my daily bible reading, I was really struck by the character of this minor prophet. He is the kind of Man that I could learn from in my quest to be a Godly man. So my next few posts will focus on some attribute of Nehemiah that I believe can help us as men in our roles as leaders, husbands, fathers, and sons of the Most High.

In the passage above, we see that Nehemiah was sensitive to the Spirit of the Lord. Now we as men tend to think of 'being sensitive' the same as being 'soft', but that need not be the case. When I speak of being sensitive, I don't mean that you like chick flicks and cry when watching them. If you do, you probably think Yanni and Richard Simmons are masculine. They're not. The kind of sensitivity I'm speaking of is the kind that Jesus had. We read in the gospels that when Jesus saw crowds coming to Him, he had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd. He had compassion on them because He was sensitive to them and to their spiritual needs. Like Nehemiah weeping after he heard the condition of Jerusalem. He knew that wasn't what the Lord wanted for His people.

What about you as a husband...are you sensitive to the needs of your bride, like Jesus was to His? If you're not, you have an unloved wife. See, our wives feel very loved when we as their husbands and protectors are sensitive to them. Don't get me wrong, there's a time to knuckle-up and fight, and we'll see this later in Nehemiah 4, but when you're with your wife take the armor off and put the sword down, she's not your enemy. Or she's not suppose to be anyway! She is one with you and in covenant with you. She is the one who the bible says you should delight in and enjoy in all ways. She is the one that Paul told men to 'love as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for'. This means we are to love our wives as Christ has loved us. Sacrificially, completely, etc., etc.. This is not accomplishable without being sensitive to her as a lady, by not "living with her in understanding as the weaker vessel", as the bible says in 1 Peter. Your wife is like fine china, not cement. You be cement, let her be fine china.

So go ahead and try it. Try being sensitive to your wife. Try meeting her emotional needs. Try loving her as Christ loved the church. Then get ready for what's coming when the lights go out!!!