A Safe Place To Be

I hate hearing of men who refuse to protect their daughters-who won't stand up or speak up when the wolves come looking for food. Since when was 18 the age that girls needed to defend themselves; to provide for themselves; or to make it by themselves? I don't find that in the Bible, so I'm left to assume that someone, in years past, declared this, and the masses who were...(better not say it) followed suit.

The LORD has blessed me with three of the most beautiful girls any man could hope to marry, and I'll tell the world- without hesitation- that my girls have a safe place to live until the day I give them away in marriage. I love them, and when you love something, you protect it. How many men wouldn't even leave their xbox out in the rain, but would have no problem leaving their daughters out in the world unprotected, unprepared, and unloved. Oh, but, "I do love my daughter," they'll say, and I say, "nonsense," you love your freedom and extra money more than you love your daughter, and that's why the wolves are well fed tonight!

A daughter should be protected by her dad until it's no longer possible to do so. When he walks her down the aisle and places her hand into the hand of her husband, the exchange should be more than tradition, it should be symbolic of what has truly occurred; she was cared for and protected by her dad, and now that duty passes to her husband. And while we're on the subject, may I say that the white dress should mean she's a virgin?- or would that upset too many people? Indeed, to raise a virgin daughter to adulthood, and give her away pure and undefiled to her husband is a lofty goal in the culture we live in, but guess what, we serve a God who has declared that with Him, "all things are possible."  

Nehemiah says that men are supposed to fight for their sons and daughters (Neh. 4:14), not give them to the enemy for his own pleasures. No age is mentioned in scripture when men are to stop doing this either. We can apply wisdom to this, and understand that not all families are in tact and walking with the LORD. We all know girls who, for one reason or another, don't have a dad to protect them, and to them I say, there's still a way. Maybe other Godly men in your family can oversee your affairs, or perhaps an Elder or Deacon at your church. I'm sure any Godly man would relish the opportunity to protect and invest in the life of a sister in Christ.

So go ahead, men, dream big for your daughters, don't settle for the low, sleezy standard that our culture says is normal. Get a vision for beautiful girlhood from scripture and take the steps necessary to see it come to fruition. They don't have to look like Miley, LiLo, JLo, Gaga, Britney, or Katy to be special, accepted, and loved; all they have to do is be who God made them, and not who culture hopes they become. 

Your girls should not fear growing up thinking that they'll have to move out, get a job, and make it on their own: they should grow up knowing that their dad will always provide a safe a place for them to live and grow, to prosper and mature, to learn and develop, and to be courted and wed. God has a plan for girls, and it isn't what we see all around us. Give your daughters to the LORD and see what He does with them. Don't give them to the wolves, because we all know what they'll do. Protect your girls...they'll be eternally grateful you did!

~Strength and Honor~

Blessed With 20 Years....

Twenty years ago today, on June 29, 1992, I had the honor of taking the lovely, Juneko Elizabeth Sass, as my lawfully wedded wife. We rode the bus in San Diego, CA., to the Wedding Bell Chapel in downtown San Diego, and at the wise old ages of 19 and 20 became one in the eyes of the Lord.

Since that time, I like to believe that we've learned a thing or two about life and one another, and about raising the eight wonderful children that the Lord has blessed us with. God has been better to me than I deserve, and I am forever grateful to Him for giving me such a wonderful and Godly helpmeet to call my wife.

Over the years I have failed miserably as a husband, but June's always forgiven me. She has been a living example of grace and forgiveness to me in more ways than I can express, and I thank her for being a living example of Matthew 16:19, "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” 


With June as my wife, I believe the darkest hours will turn brighter; I believe the saddest days will end with a smile; and I believe the next twenty years will be better than the previous.

Thank you, June, for saying YES I DO twenty years ago today when asked if you'll take me as your husband. It made me happy then, and it makes me happy now. I love you today more than ever, and I'm honored to call you my wife. Happy Anniversary!

Lead Them to Calm Waters

As a homeschooling Dad, one of my duties is to protect my wife and children from "doing too much." It's a lot for my wife to already be the primary educator in the home, keeper of the home, covenant partner to myself, and all the other things that's wives and mothers do, so to allow them to take on unnecessary commitments never ends well in my home.

Over the years I've seen homeschool families lean toward overcompensating for the fact that their children aren't in public school doing all the things that public school children do, and they seem to think that enrolling their kids in more and more is somehow going to help their kids not feel so different or left out. Now, I'm not advocating living a cave-like existence, where your family never does anything, but again, the norm isn't too much non-involvement, it's over involvement.

I'm not one to let the public schools decide how many activities my children should be involved in. I don't let them set our educational agenda, dictate what's taught in our home, or let them have unfettered access to my wife and kids daily lives, so why should I feel any pressure from them when it comes to activities outside the home. They have no jurisdiction whatsoever in my home, and I aim to keep it that way.

Signs of your wife and children hitting critical mass and having an over-committed schedule could be:

• More irritability in the home
• Children not happy unless they're going somewhere
• Wife stressed out
• Dad not resting after work due to kids activities
• Dad's day off consumed with wife and kids commitments 
• Family's schedule at mercy of children's schedule
• Saying no to church and fellowship because of other commitments
• No gentle and quiet spirit in your wife
• Family not home when Dad's home
• Kids activities becoming a source of tension between parents

These are just  some symptoms that maybe it's time reevaluate your family's priorities. Eliminate what you can and really enjoy that which mattes most. Rather than the kids doing too many things on their own, plan to do some neat and exciting things as a family. It bothers me greatly when I see Dads who don't take their families to enriching family events where history is taught, friendships are formed, and everyone is encouraged. 

Dad's, don't let your children grow up and leave the home without you having done everything you could to make them feel like you really believed they were gifts from the Lord. A weekend getaway with Dad is worth so much more than a season with strangers.

Sit down this week and consider what your wife are involved in and committed too, then begin asking yourself whether or not it's something they need to do or can it be eliminated. Then, sit down with your wife and ask her feedback on what you think is best. Listen to her as your helper and covenant partner, but remember, whatever decision you both make, you're responsible for it and the impending results. 

If you listen to your wife, even if you don't agree, covenant headship dictates that you can't say, "I told you so." If you can't bless the decision then don't do it. You're the head of the home, go out and function as such with the Lord guiding your path.
 
Be the leader your wife and kids need you to be, and be the man of God the LORD created you to be. Lead your wife and children to calm waters; even if they aren't asking for it, they're looking for it. 


Best wishes!

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A Companion of Fools

Three Fools of Carnival, Pieter Bruegel the Elder

"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, 

but the companion of fools will suffer harm." 

-Proverbs 13:20

There is much wisdom in this Proverb, both for young and old alike. In my home, we talk regularly to our children about the company they keep, the books they read, and how they spend their time, because my wife and I both know the powerful influence these have on our lives. 

In high school, I was the proverbial "fool" that Christian parents would've wanted their little Johnny to stay away from, and had my hand in leading many a young person down the fool's road. I lacked wisdom and discretion in many areas of life, and enjoyed finding others who shared my views. It wasn't until the Lord's grace reached me and transformed my life by removing my heart of stone and implanting a heart of flesh, that I was able to finally see my folly; and folly is putting it mildly.

So what company are you keeping these days? Who do you enjoy spending your days off with, your free time with, and your internet time with? 

What about your children; what company are they keeping? 

Who do you believe in your heart, has the hearts of your children? 

Have they become "the companion of fools," or do they walk with the wise?

The Proverb says "whoever walks with the wise becomes wise," but what exactly does that mean?  To 'walk' with the wise is to willingly reject the fool's path. Walking with someone is a predetermined, cognitive act, that moves you in a certain direction. It isn't just 'knowing' the wise, or once in a while heading in the same direction as the wise; NO, it's much more intentional, much more decisive, much more engaging, and much more formative. It's doing life with the wise, and letting the wise shape your life.

A companion of fools is easy to spot. He's the guys who mopes around aimlessly in life while the wise move toward a vision of where they want to be. The fool is seldom called upon to accomplish anything because no one, except maybe his mother, believes he can do much of anything based on his track record. He's the guy who quits every job he has because he believes his boss is picking on him. The guy who refuses to join the military because he hears stories about how hard boot camp is and that he can't play video games there. The guy who's only looking for a date, not a wife, and only pursues girls who's dad isn't the protector he's called to be in her life. The fool thinks life should be easy, where as the wise understand the fall of man and the duty of man toward God to bring order out of chaos in a fallen world.

The fool says little in life of any substance. He holds no place of honor in the systems of government God has established for humanity to live and function under. He's the guy who says "let's eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we shall die." The wise "eat, drink and are merry" as well (1 Cor. 10:31), but for much different reasons. In 1 Corinthians 15: 33-34, Paul says, 

"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame."

Are duty as men toward God is to pursue wisdom with all our heart. And our duty as fathers and parents is to raise sons and daughters who pursue wisdom with all their heart. The trumpet has sounded and the King awaits your service....

 "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, 

 act like men, be strong."

-1 Corinthians 16:13