Boys Will Be Boys

I have five boys, so let's just say I know a thing or two about how boys act on their road to manhood. Besides having five sons, I have two older brothers, and we were no different growing up either. Boys have a need to express themselves in masculine ways, and a good parent won't try to beat that out of them, or steer them toward expressing themselves like their sisters. A bloody nose is good medicine for the road ahead.

The goal of raising sons is to prepare them to be leaders one day. Whether that's in the form of husband, father, business owner, elder or deacon, we need to teach our boys that life isn't always fair and that sometimes they may need to fight for what is right. To shield your boy from the pain of life is to render him damaged for the the future. Momma won't always be there, and they should learn early on that Momma doesn't always have to be there.

Recently my boys have had some minor tussles with other boys from the neighborhood, and like good sports, after the dust settled, they shook hands and put it behind them. By no means do I want to raise bullies who seek blood for no good reason, but on the other hand, neither do I want to raise cowards who go running away when life gets a little tough. There's a time to talk, and a time to fight; a time to stand fast, and a time to retreat; and our goal as parents is to teach our boys when those times are.

Conquering A City In 2012

Here we are fellas, a few days past Christmas and a new year on the horizon. If you're like me, your scrambling through the files of your mind trying to decide what needs to change next year and what went well this year. Most of us make New Year's resolutions at the beginning of each year and hope that we'll see them come-to-pass. There are many areas of my life that I know the Lord would like me to improve upon next year, and by His grace they will be different come December of 2012.

I'm wondering if you'd like to join me on a quest to improve the quality of life for yourself and for your family in the coming year. I know that by making my desires public, I open myself up for public inquisition at any time. Maybe that's a good thing. Men need to be challenged in all areas of their life, like the kings of Israel and the Prophets who helped guide them. The first king who didn't have his own prophet ended up allowing his passions to run wild and it led to much sin and heartache. I'm speaking of Solomon, who as and old man wrote about the meaninglessness of everything life had to offer expect obedience to God.

So if you're willing to join me in setting out to conquer the city that's known by your name, send me an email or post a comment on this blog.

Below is a list of some areas of life that I'd like to improve upon next year and some areas that I know other Men struggle with and need to conquer if they're to truly excel in their walks with the Lord and in the leadership of themselves and their families:

• Prayer life

• Study of God's word

• Family devotions with wife and children

• Finances (budgeting, debt elimination, saving, etc. I know this is a major one for many men, and if I could, I'd like to recommend a book that's easy to read, The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.)

• Marital oneness (Connecting with our wives at a heart level on a daily basis. Not sure how to, just ask your wife.)

• Sexual purity (Another big issue, if not THE issue, that has crippled the power of men in the church. Whether it's adulterous relationships, masturbation, pornography, fornication, or any other sexual sin--until we as men get control over our God-given desires and steer them in the right direction, we will lack the power to serve that comes through purity. Let's put this sin to death, men!)

• Family ministry endeavors (What can your family do as ministry to others in 2012? Whether it's serving in a homeless shelter, nursing home, soup kitchen, or caring for the elderly in your neighborhood, find something you can do together and do it!)

• Discipleship of children (I'm talking about intentional discipleship here, not just what comes by living with you.)

• Home improvements (the condition of our homes is a reflection of our lives and a message to our wives.)

• Fasting and prayer (I'm beginning the year with a 30 day season of fasting and prayer that I'd love for some men to join me on. I'll go from 1/2/12 - 1/31/12. Let me know if your interested. You can do 1 day a week, 10 days, 20, or all 40. You decide and stick to it.)

• Diet and exercise (For too many of us, the question isn't whether or not we need to lose weight, the question is, how much weight do we need to lose? I want to see my grand-kids, so I know that this is gravely important.)

• Knowledge expansion (What I mean here is how are you continually developing your mind? Did you read any good books this year? What do you plan to read next year? I would challenge you to read a minimum of 6 books next year. That's only 1 book every two months. Some of you who read well and more quickly should read 12 books, one per month. Read in diverse areas as well. If you need suggestions, let me know.)

• Church Life (The Lord opened the door for my family to team up with several other tremendous families to start a family integrated church in the Northwest Indiana/Chicagoland area, and with the basic structures put in place in 2011, we're believing 2012 will be a year of blessing and growth if we honor the Lord and follow where He leads. So I'll be praying and fasting for our new Church, New Hope Christian Fellowship, and would cherish your prayers for us as well. And, if you might be interested in visiting us, we'd be honored to have you as our guest!)

These are just some of the things that I've been thinking through for myself and for other men close to me. This is not an exhaustive list of areas that need addressing by men, it's just meant to get you thinking about next year. Consider it and send me your thoughts.

And oh yeah...Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all friends of The Male Domain

from the Fuentes Family! (not pictured above)

2011 is almost done, and we look forward with 
great anticipation to 2012!


Lord Bless You...

Single Christian Ladies and the Men Who Need to Marry Them

There's an epidemic in the church today of twenty-something year old young ladies who've never been courted, or have been asked for their hand in marriage, and this ought not be the case.

We need to train, and re-train, the young men in the church today in the art of taking a wife, and we dads, need to raise our young boys in such a way that will enable them to actively, and aggressively, pursue a young lady for the purpose of courtship and marriage. The family helps to ensure the future of the church, and a good, Godly family is an exceptional witness of the grace of God to a non-believing world.

Bible colleges and churches are filled with beautiful, intelligent, Godly gals, who are just waiting to be pursued by a strong, masculine young man with a compelling vision for his future family. While they're waiting, many young ladies are going all the way through college and beyond, and rather than wait any longer, they may opt for the mission field, pursue a career, or perhaps even settle for a "non-believer" because he simply pursued her. This is shameful, and a blight on unmarried Christian men. We must protect the daughters of God, and one way of protecting them is by marrying them!

I have a good friend who had fallen victim of the "de-fanging" that occurs to many young men once they become a Christian. They're told so often that those beautifully attractive young ladies are their sisters, and that Christians don't do things like non-Christians, and they should never do anything that might "mess up" the relationship if things don't work out, that they end up just observing them, and going to single events with them, until one day they see those ladies move away, go to another church, or marry someone they've settle for, and spend the rest of their lives with someone who doesn't have the kind of vision they always hoped their husband would've had. This occurs far too often, and it doesn't have to be this way. The problem with de-fanging the young men, is that, well, they're still men, with the same hormones, same desires, and same need of a Godly companion.

The rare exception to this would be those who God supernaturally calls to be single for their entire lives, for a very specific purpose that He's ordained. This is rare, but does occur. Unfortunately, the church is full of men who haven't been called to singleness, but haven't been equipped for marriage either. I hope to help change this!

The friend I spoke of was able to regain his "God-given aggressiveness" before it was too late, and went out and pursued the girl he wanted, and today they're happily married serving the LORD together in ministry. Him and I had some good talks about what steps he needed to take to see this come about, and I'll be sharing some of those thoughts in the next several posts.

Thanksgiving Proclamation by George Washington

George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation


Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me to "recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"
 
Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.


Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789.

George Washington's actual signature