Pictured here is my little, Joy Noelle. She's 6, and it seems like just yesterday we welcomed her into our home after her arrival in the world.The same is true with all my children. When each of our eight children have been born it seemed as though June and I had our entire lives to raise them. We felt like we had time to squander, time to make mistakes, time to pursue our desires, and then, eventually get around to raising our kids.
Sadly, this isn't how life goes. Time waits for no one, and like it or not, our kids grow older whether we invest time in them or not. They will eventually become adults, move on with their lives, start families of their own, start businesses, become parents, and do all the things that God created them to do--question is-- will I feel content with how I raised them when that time comes?
I only get one shot at raising them, so I need to be sure I'm aiming my arrows at the right target. What will it matter if I play in sports leagues as an adult, if my kids wished I was with them? What will it matter if I pursue my desires, if my kids wished I pursued them? What will it matter if I advanced my career, if my kids wished I had advanced my relationship with them? What will it matter if gain the whole world, but forfeit the souls of my little ones to the god of personal pleasure?
We only get one shot men, are you aiming at the correct target? Will you be one of those Dads who grows old with a heart of regret because you pursued the meaningless, at the expense of the meaningful? Will you wish you had invested in them as much as you invested in those who in the end, are no where to be found?
Don't be that Man!
Invest in your kids while you still have time. Devote your life to ensuring that your kids walk faithfully with the LORD, cause truth be told, that's all that really matters!
"If I teach my son to keep his eye on the ball, but don't teach him to keep his eye on Jesus Christ, I have failed as a Father." -Voddie Baucham, Family Driven Faith
Strong words from a strong Man of God. Hope they help you gain perspective!
Til Death Unites or Separates Us,
TMD
4 Intelligent Responses:
I like some of sugestions. I have to disagree on the shaming men part "will we grow older regreting" Well I don't have any children yet however being involved in TRUE DESIRE, real recovery I've noticed how society always shame us men but will never ASK US how was it for you growing up as a child. Lets remind ourselves that in order to connect and be father we first must go back and say to those(if they are still around/i not telling someone)whom we felt hurt by as a child that you love them but you disagree with what they did to you as a child but that they must of not better either. This is so important to connect with your feelings so that you expierence true recovery and can raise that child up properly not only that but you yourself can expierence true growth. Jose- Chicago
Jose,
Thanks for the comment.
I'm not trying to "shame" men, and in fact, never used the word. I am, however, trying to awaken Men to the reality that many Men out there are failing their children in the area of discipleship.
We "think" they need so many other things besides a strong spiritual foundation. We've replaced our discipleship of them with their involvement in "other" things.
I don't think we need to "go back" and confront those who failed us or hurt us, as you suggested. This keeps Men in a perpetual state of arrested development, embracing a victim mentality that prohibits them from moving forward with the leadership of their homes and the discipleship of their children.
I come from a broken home in a bad neighborhood of Chicago, and if I allowed it, my upbringing could have kept me from pursuing the hearts of my children and from leading my home.
Men must embrace their "new" identities in Christ, gird up their loins, grab their swords, and enter the Colosseum of life. As the word says in 1 Cor. 16:13 "Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like Men; be strong."
Steve,
Awesome post, dude!
God is teaching me that the primary, ultimate, first, dare I say *only* way I can love my kids is to love their mom as Christ loved/s the church. Unconditionally, being the initiator, not the responder in the relationship. No matter what my *past* was like. This requires a LOT of dying to self!
I've spent years pursuing *my* desires, *thinking* I had my priorities right with my wife and kids. I'm now learning how much my selfish pursuits have hurt her and my kids. Separation will do that sometimes, jar a man's head.
I've recently been listening to Mark Driscoll and have been challenged to grow up into the *manly* Christian God created me to be. Reading some of your posts have been encouraging and challenging, too. I like what God is doing in your heart/life.
Keep at it, brother!
Russ
Sacramento
Russ,
Thanks for the nice words, to God be all the glory!
Great to hear that the LORD is doing a work in your life and in your families life. I, too, spent many years pursuing the "wrong" things and paid a hefty price for it. God's grace has prevailed in our marriage, and today we're continuing to rebuild our family the LORD's way!
Mark Driscoll has been my mentor, in many respects, for the past 12 years. God used him in my life to speak to me in ways that challenged and provoked me to take a long look at who I was, and who I was suppose to be!
Stay strong, Brother!
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